Staring at my face in the mirror - 6 Days Post Op

Oct 26, 2011

I've never seen myself as a skinny adult before. I haven't been thin since before puberty, so the last pictures I have of a skinny Cheryl are kind of awkward with a nose too big for my face and bad skin. Now my face is of course much bigger, so my nose isn't oversized. The skin is still bad. But as my face thins out, there are some features I like, such as my chin and cheekbones. I am so curious to see what Skinny Cheryl will look like. It's like getting pregnant and spending nine months wondering what your baby is going to look like. I'm curious, and it's not something I can speed up, just like the baby.

My counselor bet me twenty bucks that my face would clear up from the acne I've had since I was 9 as my weight dropped, mainly because of the foods I'll be eating. I think she's full of crap. If my face doesn't magically clear up, my 160-pound-birthday present for myself is a trip to a dermatologist. 

First things first. Let's lose some weight! I did about 15 minutes of my Walk At Home video today around lunch time. Not much, I know, but it's the first organized exercise that I did since surgery. I'm hoping to get a good walk tomorrow. At least 30 minutes. I just wish the scale was moving more quickly. I know it's a psychological thing... but everytime I eat anything now, I feel like I'm sabotaging my weight loss. Like the Carnation Instant Breakfast with double-strength milk. It's my primary source of protein right now, but I hate that it is almost 300 calories. It take me about 3 hours to drink it, but I'm still feeling like it's a carlorie suck. 

I have not been compliant on my full liquid diet, and I wonder how that's going to come back to bite me in the ass. I should never have tried soft foods to begin with. Then I wouldn't know that my pouch tolerates them. I guess I just find it far more satisfying to pulverize the heck out of slow-cooked chicken breast and swallow it than sip on soup.  

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