I could be at goal ... already

May 04, 2012

I had my six month checkup with my PT a couple days ago, and I'm officially down to 158. I know there's some more padding that can be reduced, but as far as they are all concerned, I can be at goal. My dietitian especially warned me that 90 percent of their patients will gain 10-20 pounds from their lowest weight as their bodies find a good, healthy weight. So a goal of 140 is still fine for me... knowing that I could come back up to where I am. 

They were all amazed that I am this small at only six months out. "You look like a one year!" Why thanks. "You must be working so hard!"

NO. The dirty little secret that I wouldn't admit to them is that I don't consider what I'm doing as working hard. I'm not eating much, and I'm somewhat active. I have goals to exercise more as the weather improves (and the six miles I've covered in the last two days attest to that), but days go by without any exercise to speak of. It goes in spurts. And the weight still is coming off. That's the glory of the honeymoon phase, and I know it will be ending soon. I'm just so grateful I'm one of the lucky ones that got pretty much to goal before the honeymoon ended. 

My total weight loss from my highest ever recorded weight is 134 pounds. Since I left the hospital after surgery, I've lost 86 pounds. I think that's pretty typical for WLS. I was just a "lightweight" morbidly obese person, so the 86 pounds brought me down where I needed to be. 

I'm eating more than I was before stricture, but I still have a lot of food anxiety, especially with non-soft foods (unless it's pringles). I haven't had a lot of opportunity to try, though, simply because I haven't been cooking other foods. I tried chicken stir fry without rice, but I couldn't eat more than a quarter cup, so I went back to soup. I'll keep trying, but I'm not stressing about it. My dietitian is fine with what I've been eating. She just wants me to start adding in non-protein items like fruits and vegetables and one serving of whole grains a day just for the nutrients. I'm kind of lucky my surgeon's practice isn't one of the "eat the max amount of protein a day" places. Their philosophy is that if you are eating more than 60 grams of protein a day, you are overeating. I'm in the 50-55g per day range, which they are fine with. It's about 600 calories. Sometimes 800. So I have some wiggle room with calories to add in the other foods. Now I just need money to go grocery shopping again. 

Speaking of which. We are so broke it is painful. We got temporary loans to check advance places that we're now struggling to pay back. I had a small claims lawsuit against me that I settled out of court (credit card), but now I have to pay the balance off very quickly, which is putting us really far behind in the finances. So I called my old company and got a job in the call center. It's going to be kind of humiliating. I was in the marketing department there for 7 years, making twice as much as I'll be making in the call center. But it's something, and it'll at least pay our car payment each month. I'll be working nights and weekends.

My best friends in town are moving to Texas this summer because of a great new job. And while we've been talking about this pending move for the last couple months, they actually asked if we would be willing to move with them and find our own jobs down there. I laughed it off. There's no way I'd be willing to leave my mother's neck of the woods while she's still living. But when the husband got the actual job offer, I teasingly told him to find me a job there too. And he quickly found something for me to apply for. And I did. Now we'll see. That company in Texas has pulled six people from my former employers to do their e-commerce division. They consider my old company to be big-name experience, which I guess it is. So I'm kind of hopeful that I'll at least get an interview. Not sure if my husband will get an interview for the position he applied for there, since unlike with me kind of reaching to say I'm qualified for a position, he's overqualified for his. We'll see. But maybe we'll be moving to Texas. I'm kind of excited about the idea now, though I have no idea how I'll tell my mother. It's in God's hands. If that's where he wants me to go, and there's an opportunity waiting for me, I'll go. It would definitely be the responsible thing for us to be making more money so that we won't be so delinquent with our finances. And if moving to a big city somewhere else is the way that has to happen, then well. I guess I'm glad they have AC down there.

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