7/31/09 Diary Entry

Jul 30, 2009

I decided to post this because it’s what was going through my head regarding the surgery.

**************************

I’m worried about my surgery. I don’t think that there will be complications with the actual surgery, but afterwards so much can happen.

I’m worried that nothing will happne. Every overweight woman that I speak with says “Oh you’re gonna be so skinny!” It scares me that I haven’t had the surgery and people are already projecting a thinner frame on me. What constitutes skinny in their eyes? 30lbs? 90? I’m worried that someone will be disappointed in how I look. I’m terrfied that person will actually be me.

What will happen to my friendships? Will they all go sour? Some/Most of our gatherings take place wrapped around a kitchen table or counter, waiting for food to finish.

What will I have to offer people who are going through rough times? I usually bring over comfort food. Wouldn’t it be rude if I brought them fatty foods and didn’t eat them? Would they think I was intentionally trying to fatten them up?

Will my Aunt give me a guilt trip when I don’t gorge on her homemade manicotti at Christmas? Will my family look at me differently? Will they assume that I’ve taken the easy way out?

0 Comments