9/28/09 My Kingdom for a Pickle

Sep 27, 2009

Okay, so In four days I get to see the doctor’s assistant and she will tell me if I can/can’t drive. I also have a meeting with the dietician on 10/7 so hopefully that’s the session where she tells me I can eat and what I can eat. I know it’s gonna be mush, but it will be meat and I am so looking forward to that!

Still trying to choke down the protein shakes. All I want is a pickle. Still…

I’ve found that I’m really bored being on medical leave, but I really don’t want to go back to work. I’ve stopped by on my walks twice and there’s just bad juju there. I don’t want to introduce stress into my life again, I’m just getting used to it being gone.

I’m still trying to sleep on my stomach and it gets a little easier every night. The only thing that I can equate the feeling to is when you push down on a balloon. You get resistance and you’re always waiting for it to pop. As I like my insides where they are (well… now I do), I end up sleeping on my back. My butt is far too large to allow it so I have to put a pillow under me to prop me up to the side.

I’m losing a lot of weight/mass in my waist, but my butt remains as gigantic as ever (or so I think). I’m not kidding. Around my hips is 54.5 inches… Holy crap, my ass is 4 ft around. Weird.

I don’t really step on a scale everyday, because that’s not healthy thinking in my opinion. I equate stepping on a scale to someone being bipolar. It’s either good or disasterous. I opted to just weigh myself and I’m coming in at 250lbs. I started at 295lbs, so I’m doing pretty well.

Once I get the okay to drive, I’m going to join the gym that my friends use. I need to start toning. I don’t want to be a pile of loose skin. No one wants to look like Jabba the Hut, a volcano that is slowly exploding. It’s not a pretty image.

I find myself really excited about shopping, and I’ve been looking at clothing online since I returned to my house. I find stuff that I really want to buy, but I don’t know what my actual size is going to be. It’s a waiting game, but I cannot wait to walk into any store and be able to buy something I like looking at.

Being overweight, I am limited to three stores for shoopping. At any given moment, the only product in one of those stores is just hideous. That’s why I stopped shopping. At my job, they give me a weeks worth of uniforms and I would just wear those. The good news is that when I return to work, I don’t have to worry about a button rubbing against my scar.

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