Yep, Wrong Again

Sep 15, 2011

LOL, so it was only about 30 minutes after I wrote my last blog that the "other" proved me to be wrong again. He texted, and we had lunch. And it was a nice lunch. Just sat in the car at the park and talked while we ate. We talked more than we ever have and we laughed and I made fun of him. That is the first sign that I am getting comfortable with him, I am usually so nervous around him that I cant be myself. Today I started to relax and my smartass side peeked out for a second. I also called him on his bullshit and that felt good. When lunch was over I went back to work and so did he. A small kiss that was humorously bungled...which we both blamed the other for. Ha! That was funny too. I would enjoy having a lunch like that once a week. Just hang out and bullshit. If we could do that I would be pretty happy to just continue on as status quo cause he would probably become a pretty good friend.

However, I found myself having a bad morning....and it did not get better until he started messaging me. So the basic problem remains the same, I am unhappy without someone elses approval and affection. That is unsatisfactory. I must find a way to start recognizing it when it is happening and changing the behaviors that feed into my insecurity.

Tomorrow a new chapter in my saga. But you know...it helped today to have voiced it all in that first blog before actually meeting up with him...so maybe I need to start chronicaling what I am thinking and feeling about the situation. It seems to bring some clarity to the situation in a productive way

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