Happy966
My Story
Sep 10, 2012
I have had a majorly screwed-up relationship with food from childhood. I was put on my first diet by my mom when I was 4, had to drink powdered skim milk and take diet cookies as my snack to Girl Scouts. I weighed 185 at age 13 and 254 when I graduated from high school. I ultimately ate my way to 293 pounds. I have stolen food, eaten food out of the trash, hid my eating from others, lied about money and time to sneak out and buy food. I joined Overeaters Anonymous when I was 26, found a terrific sponsor and stopped overeating compulsively. I lost 120 pounds over 2 years, maintained 100 of that for another 5. I gave up recreational sugar completely, and remained off the sugar until 1995 when I had a major relapse into compulsive eating and stopped going to OA meetings. I gained all the weight back over a period of 4 or 5 years. I started back to meetings in 2004, got off the sugar again, and lost 60 pounds. But I couldn't stay on a food plan that was appropriate to maintain a normal weight. I was hungry all the time on 1400 calories, which is what I needed to do to lose weight. I could put together 5 months or so, then find myself at the Chinese buffet and back into the food again. I decided the only way I could stick to an appropriate food plan and not be hungry all the time was through VSG surgery, and that the restriction could help limit the damage I'd do when I fell off the wagon. I had the experience of being "struck abstinent" when I started OA, where everything came easily and I did everything more-or-less perfectly. But I couldn't be perfect all the time, and I couldn't tolerate the imperfection. So after 1995, I was never able to sustain long-term abstinence and ride out the imperfections (or, falling off the wagon).[to be continued...]
