Letters Written

Jun 26, 2012

 I just finished what I call my "just in case" letters to my family members. They caused me to sit and reflect on life and put things in order. The reason for doing these letters is so we will all have some closure. When Dad died it was so sudden (10 minutes after he went to bed), he wasn't sick or anything and we didn't get to say good bye. All the letters but one are saying good bye and thanking the individual. The one letter that isn't a good bye it's more of releasing what I've been wanting to for over 30 years. It's a letter to my brother, who molested me for years when I was younger. I told him how I felt at the time and how it caused things in my life as I got older. I could finally get it all out. I've been wanting to write this letter for a long time but never did. I think I might send him this letter after the successful surgery. I think it's really something I need to to in order to have a successful second chance at life that this surgery is giving me. Some may not agree with me sending it and some will agree we all have our own reasons to agree or not. This brother isn't really in any of our lives, even my mother's. I think it's funny that with everything he did to me in the past he can't stand up to his wife in order to see his family. Dad died 2 1/2 years ago and he has seen my Mom 3 times since after the funeral. After writing this letter I didn't free so much anger inside of me I could actually feel it slowing leave me with each line but I really want him to know what he did to me mentally and physically. I want him to know that I've never forgotten, I remember everything thing he did and said to me.
Writing these letter made it an emotional, tiring day.

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