Testing testing

Feb 02, 2013

 

The barium swallow was the worst part.

 

Yesterday I woke up extra early and drove to the hospital that houses the Center for Weight Loss Surgery. I arrived at 7:15 so I could check in at the women's health center for the first of a morning's worth of tests. First was a bone density scan, which was pretty simple: lie down on a bed, get scanned. Repeat with both wrists. Off to a good start!

 

After I was done at the women's health center I headed over to the outpatient center at the hospital, where the nice lady at the check-in desk knew where I was supposed to go. First I was sent to a little room where I did the spirometry test (blowing into a tube, basically) to make sure my lugs are in good enough shape for surgery. That went fine. The same lady who administered the spirometry test did my EKG. I'd had one before so it was no thing—slap some diodes on my chest and abdomen, fiddle with some knobs on a machine, all good. (The lady who administered these tests was very friendly and chatty. She did express some surprise/skepticism that I'm planning on bariatric surgery. I guess I don't look fat “enough” or something? I mentioned the Horrors of Sleep Apnea and she seemed to get it.)

 

Next was blood and pee. A very nice lady took what looked to be about eight thousand vials of my blood, told me all about the 24-hour urine sample adventure I get to go on some time this week, and had me pee in a cup. I expect to do the pee thing on Tuesday, I guess, and will try to get it back to the hospital by Wednesday. (I hope that's enough time, fret fret, as the results of all these tests need to make it to the internist before I see HIM, and THAT appointment is coming up a week from Monday. Yikes.)

 

After the blood-n-pee extravaganza I was sent to diagnostic imaging. I got an abdominal ultrasound from an amused-seeming young man who commented that “all the cool kids” are getting vertical sleeve gastrectomies. Okay. He was nice, though. Nothing too exotic about the ultrasound: get some warm gel smeared on one's belly, get wanded, hold your breath when he says, etc. After that, an x-ray tech led me to a changing room and told me to undress to the waist and put on some gowns. Did so, followed the tech to the x-ray room, got my chest x-rayed. Took hardly any time.

 

THEN CAME THE BARIUM SWALLOW. Which was seriously just super gross. I knew it would be gross but here it is one more time for posterity: gross.

 

They had me stand up against a slab and take a few mouthfuls of the barium nastiness: hold the mouthful, then swallow, while the doctor aimed some sort of camera device at my chest/abdomen. Did that a few times. Then I had to chug a big cup of some fizzy substance, which was also pretty unpleasant. Then I had to chug a big cup of barium nastiness. Then they made the slab tilt back until I was parallel to the ceiling.

 

Once I was flat on my back they had me twisting and rotating like a rotisserie chicken, all the while looking at my guts through the camera-device-thing. Finally I ended up on my side, holding a cup of barium nastiness, and sipping mouthfuls through a straw: hold, then swallow. A few dry swallows in there, too. When it was over I was told to make sure to drink LOTS of water all day, since the barium “basically turns to concrete in there!” Apparently constipation can be an issue afterward. I drank more than 64 ounces of water and ate normally the rest of the day. No constipation issues yet, and it's been more than 24 hours. I think I'm good? Anyway.

 

All in all, even the SUPER NAST ICKY GROCE barium swallow ordeal didn't last too long. I was there, getting tests, from about 7:30 till around 10:30 in the morning. Not bad; I'd expected to hang out at the hospital till at least noon. Had to double check that all my test results would be sent to the internist (as well as the bariatric surgeon), and I'll be seeing that internist on the eleventh. Just now I emailed the patient coordinator for the Center for Weight Loss Surgery to make sure I'm on track with everything. I think I am. The biggest THING ahead, I suppose, will be making sure my insurance company is on board with this whole crazy project. Fingers crossed.

 

Otherwise, things are okay. I've been tracking food and exercise via My Fitness Pal, and that's been illuminating. I've made some major improvements in my diet though there are still changes that need to take place (fewer convenience foods/more from-scratch cooking, for example.) Should exercise more, too. Anyway, doing all right. Not great but not bad. Lost a few pounds so far.

Had some big emotions about this whole process, about weight loss in general and the weird ways identity and feelings of self-worth get tied into one's appearance. Big emotions. Got to spend some quality time with family and friends today, and I needed that. I even told my uncle and aunt that I'm planning to have the surgery. Uncle and I were bonding over sleep apnea war stories and the conversation just seemed to take at natural turn toward my hopes for bariatric surgery—since I'm having it in large part to combat the sleep apnea. Aunt immediately said all the things my mother said when I told my immediate family in December—but she trusts me, and understands.

 

My uncle's first response was basically “but you're not fat enough?” So I emphasized the apnea, the other activities the excess weight complicates or puts out of reach, and he gets it too. So I ended up talking to my mom, my aunt, and my uncle for quite a while about surgery etc. Felt good. Mom's going to come with me to the pre-op class, bless her. We'd already planned to attend together but I think having such a good discussion motivated me to get in touch with the patient coordinator. I just so badly want to do this correctly—not skip any steps, not make any stupid mistakes. Fingers. Crossed.

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