My deciding moment.

Jul 08, 2014

My deciding moment.... I was asked what made me decide to do this so I will share this on a grander scale. 

I am 27 I will be 28 in October. That is a huge fact for this moment stay with me. I gained most of my weight in middle school and high school kids were mean so mean and fat shamming well everyone did it including the fat people. You found someone bigger than you and well you let them have it just as bad as you got it and those who were mean were on your side. I am not proud of those moment in history but it shows you where we are going. At 16 I was 210 and tested out of school because kids suck. I went to college and gained the freshmen 30 awesome thanks college. I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. I went to a theme park with my best friend and some of the rides were harder to ride because I had to force the safety harness. I did Disney not too long ago and thought I was going to die and I wanted to. I hated looking in the mirror and seeing the person looking back at me with a passion of a thousand suns. This girl who was once sun kissed and beautiful was now a small whale that was pasty white and had stretch marks that rivaled a pregnant woman. She wanted the world to swallow her and take her away from all of this. I was 26 when I decided 26 I should be worried about how my hair looks and if I have a hangover not wanting to disappear into the folds. I loved life so much at one point I missed that version of me always in the water never sitting in the house waiting for the cold to come back. I had literally removed myself from my own life. This is not what I want to be I want to be me again I want to come back from the land of fat and be happy once more. Today I walked my store with my fastest walking manager I dreaded those days he would walk and I would feel like my heart was gonna come out of my chest and I could not keep up and that man is in his 40s I did it today and I kept up no shortness of breath and my heart rate was fantastic.

My deciding factor was I wanted to live. You have to make the choice that will hold you to the commitment of the surgery.

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