Ignorance isn't always bliss

Feb 08, 2010

My tried and true digital scale I purchased when first had surgery has been giving me strange read outs for some time now. Some days up and some days down. I noticed a crack inthe plastic housing near the read out but didn't really think much of it. Besides, the crack, I had decided that I wasn't going to weigh myself very often. I think obsessing about weight isn't healthy but ignoring it or denial isn't either. Finding a happy medium is where I need to be.

I went out and bought a new scale a couple days ago and put it in a spare bedroom. Now I am following my old routine of getting up each morning, using the restroom and then stepping on the scale before I drink any water or eat anything. It's the lightest I'll be without anything extra in my digestive tract. Is daily weighing necessary? For me, it seems to remind me of my mission. My journey. My goal to make healthy eating decisions today, to try and be active in some way and to put my long term goals (health) ahead of my short term desires (food).

Last night I went to my surgeon's monthly support group meeting and it reminded me of the struggles that many people go through pre & post op. How lucky I am to have my "tool" and that I am almost exactly where I was weight-wise a year ago before my accident. Do I have struggles and challenges to work through? Of course I do. But this isn't a road race. It's a life long journey and I will make strides and have setbacks along the way. I am learning what works for me and what doesn't. I think being honest with myself about all of this "stuff" and figuring out how to keep moving forward toward my long-term goal of health and happiness is what's most important to me. It's not really a number on a scale. I want to be close to a normal BMI, I want to continue to be able to buy my clothes off the rack and be able to have the energy and ability to participate in the game of life. No more am I sidelined by my weight. My doctor isn't having "those conversations" with me anymore.

If keeping my eye on the prize requires me to step on a scale each morning and remind myself of where I am, where I want to be or stay and where I came from... that's just step 1. The rest of the day has many other decisions that are more imporant but maybe this first one sets the tone for the rest of the day.

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