Wedding Shows.

Nov 05, 2011

Two days ago while watching 'Say Yes To The Dress' it hit for the first time since I've received the patient grant that I finally have hope for the future. I love watching Say Yes To The Dress or anything involving weddings. I'm just a big ol' sucker for romance and the big day. However, whenever I watched them before I never really made many comments about how I'd like MY future wedding to be or MY future dress to look like because I thought I'd have to be a plus size bride and I hated that. I didn't want a big wedding, I didn't really want a wedding at all.. I told my mother several times that I was the type to just elope. Then why was I so gaga and over the moon for anything about weddings?

Deep down in my heart, I want it all. I want the beautiful wedding gown. I want to have to pick out the flowers, the cake, the bridesmaid dresses, the linens for the tables. I'm torn between wanting to get married outside an old southern plantation house, or on the beach. I first need to find the groom for all of this to happen, and had you asked me a few weeks ago I would have told you I might end up dying alone because I couldn't imagine anyone loving me the way I am. I can't love me the way I am, I can't expect anyone else to. Through this roller coaster of emotions I'm about to go through I hope I find love for myself so I can allow others to feel the same about me.

In the mean time I went to my DVR and recorded every wedding related show on television this week. I've been saying since the beginning of this that I feel like Cinderella, well.. I need to get prepared while I wait for my Prince to come.

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