Got a date!

Jul 18, 2010

I received my appointment packet in the mail from Ellis on Saturday (7/17).  Not bad, considering my initial appointment was on Monday 7/12!  I like that they make a lot of the appointments for you.  I only have to make the psychiatric clearance and my pulmonologist.  All the labs and testing appointments are already scheduled.
My official surgery date is Monday October 18.

I hadn't thought my feelings would be so jumbled when I finally got a date.  I had assumed I would be happy....and I am.....but I am also scared and intimidated!  LOL, the whole gauntlet!  I am glad to finally have a concrete date which I can work toward, but I keep flipping my calendar and seeing how few "flips" there are between now and October and I start to doubt that I can do it.  From my past 2 years of experience, that 10% looms over me like a circling hawk over a mouse.  I start pre-sabotaging myself!  All those thoughts rush in....the "if you couldn't do it in 2 years, what makes you think you can do it in 3 months?" stuff.  I haven't even started the diet program yet and I already feel like I'm failing?!? I am just thankful that my SO puts up with all the snippiness and mood changing that has been going on this weekend.

I have a meeting with the surgeon on Aug. 6, and that is the date I also start on the diet program.  I believe it is the Medifast program, but I won't be absolutely certain until then.  Until then, I'm sure to sprint back and forth through the emotional gauntlet a few times.  Hopefully, I emerge on the right end with only a little bruising.

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