moirianne
weigh-in #6
Sep 10, 2010
Another weight and another week closer to my surgery date. I'm down another few pounds. Still in shock over that. I keep feeling like I'm not losing, but I took my measurements today and have lost inches from several places and the numbers on the scale are moving in the right direction. I was surprised to find out that the numbers aren't as important to me as they used to be. I'm more concerned about how my clothes seem to be getting bigger :-)I was discussing my progress with my S.O. and he says he can see changes in the way I look. He was surprised when I told him I can't see anything. It was really hard to explain. I know I have lost weight and I know there are physical changes to my body, but to me, I am the way I have always been. It almost seems like I'm denying any change is happening. LOL Will I be in for a shock after surgery, huh? I suppose it's because the mental image I have for myself doesn't match my physical appearance. Denial is one of the reasons why I don't have any mirrors below eye level and avoid anyone with a camera (still hate the camera phones...people taking pics and you don't even notice). Out of sight, out of mind.
I am working on reconciling this, matching my mental image to my physical one. I am going to have my S.O. take a full body shot (suggested at support group) so I can keep looking at it when I forget why I can't have that peice of cake or the extra serving of chicken. (He's excited about it...says he's never seen me in a bathing suit...we both laughed when I realized he was right and that I haven't worn a bathing suit in over 12 years). I don't think I'm quite ready to post anything like that yet, even though everyone here seems to be non-jugemental about that type of thing. I just want to feel more comfortable with myself before I share that particular pain with everyone else. Maybe some day it won't be so painful to let people see me.
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About Me
Selkirk, NY
Location
63.9
BMI
Surgery
10/18/2010
Surgery Date
Dec 21, 2004
Member Since