Sad

Jul 25, 2010

     I've been so down for the last two days.  I lost one of my cat's (no, I know where he is, but I'll never get to see him again).  It has truly been a struggle these past days to not turn to food for comfort.  I find myself expressing my sorrow much more, how should I say this, uhm....messily?  loudly?  blubberingly? (Is that even a word?)
     I have caught myself several times scoping the fridge for food when I neither want nor need it.  The less I feed it (emotion), the louder it seems to get.  How do you find an alternative coping mechanism to blubbering messily?  Gosh, I hate crying!  I know it's natural, but I would much rather be one of those "quietly emotional people" who just sob and dab their eyes.  At least they don't have to deal with the puffy, red eyes, Rudolf-looking nose, and the darn blurry vision.

Emotions are messy when you can't eat them away.

     I have discovered what people are talking about when they say they "aren't pet people".  These are the people that repeatedly ask me "why are you so upset, it was just a cat....Just go pick out another one and stop moping around."  When I was younger, I used to laugh at the "crazy cat lady" in town with the dozen-or-so cats milling about her front porch.  I think I understand her now.  The companionship I have gotten from my pets is much more than I usually get from other people.  I don't have to worry about being judged by my cats....I already know they're better than me.

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