Doing good

Mar 17, 2011

Well it is 6 days into lent and I have kept my vow.  I am so feeling good and bad... I am feeling bad because I did gain weight.  Alot of weight.  I have gained about 17 pounds.  I have to change my prospective and work harder towards the new me.  I have to quit letting the little things upset me and look to the future.  I had a talk with my husband the other day and we were discussing what the future has for us.  I told him with school I have a couple routes to go but the problem comes that the one that is least expensive will leave us in AZ for another 4 and a half years.  He was fine with it but I am not sure I am.  I know that my education means the world to me and that if I don't finish it will just be another thing I let go.  I let go of too much and it really gets me down.  I can not let this go.  It may not be my dream job but it is a field in which I am happy and have learned to do very well.  Nursing is for people who are compationate and love to help people.  I am one of those people and feel that I will do very well at it and plan to finish.  I am scared. Of what you ask.  I am scared of being responsible for others.  Scared that I will do something wrong and in nursing doing just the smallest thing wrong could kill a person... I don't want to ever do that but I know that people die everyday and sometimes we can not change that....

I will continue to work on my eating and get my weight down to my goal.  I need to make little goals for myself that are not hard to attain and stop looking at myself in disgust.  I need to work out more and take care of me... I am the important one...

Today is a new day and I will hit it head on.... 

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