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Already Thanksgiving. on November 6, 2011 12:26 pm
I have been very busy lately. I am still in school, studying photography, something that i realized that i loved forever. I have had many ups and downs these past months. My grandbaby has become my star...when she arrives...my life halts. Time is moving so darn fast...wow!. I am still holding down my weight in the 190 - 198 lb range. It flucuates weekly.I do realize that i do need to have the tummy tuck, that would be a big difference in my weight probably about 20 ilbs would be removed from my belly region. But until i can afford to pay cash or acquire insurance, im tuck with the folds of skin, which i conceal pretty good with body shapers and clothes. I do realize since the surgery that i have a gastro problem...i have gas all the time and have to take something to belch before and after meals. Oh yeah...love my new hair color. 
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What a difference a day makes! on August 8, 2011 4:28 pm
Im so in love with my grandbaby...she has brought me so much joy and memories. Hi Family, it's been awhile. I have been busy trying to re-invent myself. I started school in the fall of 2010.. Im studying to become a professional photographer...freelance and one day forensic. I just got a new camera..my baby a Cannon EOS T3i...not the top of the line but a good start. When summer arrived I was worried weather or not i would be able to fit into my clothes from last year and to my suprise, i could. That has not happened in a long time, usually i have to buy a bigger size...Good for me.
I do find myself watching a lot of food shows....don't know how i got hooked maybe when i was recovering from surgery...that's all i use to do. Im still walking daily. I dont work out, which i know i could use the workout to build muscle in my arms and legs and work on my belly. I remember before i started my journey, the only wish i had for plastic surgery were my breast. ummm....now since the twins have shrunk...my real wish is to have my stomach fixed, considering my doctor told me when i started, my end weight should be 140 lbs...not for me...You get too thin, too many things sag, like your cheeks, chin, belly, back, inner thighs. I thought i wanted to be that small but since i saw how i looked at my lowest weight 175...i got too many complaints about looking sick. I did not gain the weight on purpose, it just happened while i was coming out of grieving. I still drink sugar free pops...don't pay much attention to caffeine...bad me...I watch my serving sizes also. I just recently had bloodwork for my thyroid levels done and everything was ok but i was lacking Vitamin D3.. So I am taking those.
I change my look often.. right now im sporting a short hair cut. I was also able to get into a 42 DD bra....long stretch from 52G and its a strapless bra.yeah for me.
Im happier now since the loss of my husband. I have a boyfriend and each and every day is a struggle for me because of all the changes i have come across. But all in all he hangs in there with me and supports me as much as my husband use to do. Im also working on a better relationship with my mom..and my youngest son. My grandbaby keeps me busy, my affliation with my high school alumni keeps me busy and my constant faith in God, keeps me believing and hoping for great things to come. 
HELLO, HELLO, HELLO on April 10, 2011 5:51 pm
It seems like time has flown by so so fast. So much has happened. I am now a student at OCC taking classes in photography, my lifelong love. I'm enjoying it but am too darn busy. I am the recording secretary for my high school alumni association, among other things... Each day, I am busy. My children are now 23, 19 and 17. And my grandbaby is 14 months old. Time is flying. I have moved twice, this time im sitting still for at least 2 years...moving is the worst thing a person can do. I have been through a lot of transitions since my husband passed. I still miss him...he was everything to me...He started my journey with me. I am currently wearing a size 12 pants. Not bad for a sister whou use to wear a size 32 pants. I have not had a tummy tuck, nor a breast lift. Those things are not so important to me anymore. My only concern in life right now is tokeep the weight off, stay healthy, stay mobile and active. For years, my weight limited activity...not any more. After my husband died, i changed and i changed in so many ways, alot for my own sanity. I cut my hair and stopped wearing makeup so much and i am loving every moment. I even started wearing gym shoes something i never cared for. I weighed myself this morning, y weigh...185...that might be heavy to some, but it's wonderful to me. I don't think my frame or body would look right at 100 - 140 pounds which doctors think my build should be. I dont want to look like im dying. I look healthy and i love the way i look. If i had ot lose any more, i would not go under 170, i have been there and no one liked the look. I will be having a birthday in a few days and I can't complain about being 46. Oh yeah, i also have new boyfriend. Life is ok, could be better but I won't complain cause God has my back. And I still don't have a job, but God is providing, amen.
2010 Update on October 21, 2010 7:51 am
Hello family:
I have been very busy this past year. I have had many ups and downs with my life being turned around and different.. The death of my husband, had to move, birth of grandbaby..whew that is a lot. Still unemployed, now enrolled in school for photographic technology...cut the hair, tried to enjoy my summer. Now it's fall. I have new puppy, Bella Sky...we getting to know each other...I'm at the 195 mark with my weight, but it is comfortable, i had gotten as small as 180 lb and i didnt look well at all. Im still discovering what looks well, what i cant handle as far as food and adjusting to the changes with my body. I am still the coldest person in the room....and house...but it's ok. The knees don't hurt, nor does the back. I am in a size 12 pants and large tops, thought i would never see that ever again in life. If i had to have tummy tuck, i surely would be about 170 easy and with a breast reduction/lift in a medium shirt.. But i got time...i got stretch marks, but i wear them proudly, it's still part of who i am and where i came from. I will post pictures later. I hope everyone has had a great year.
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Year End 2009 on December 28, 2009 4:23 pm
Hello, OH family, it's been a while since i have been here. There are so many things that have happened in this year. I am still unemployed but now I know why. I lost my uncle the earlier part of this year, my husband of 15 years just passed away November 30, 2009 which has caused me great sadness. He was with me throughout this journey from day one, even when i was overweight. He accepted all of me as i was. He prided himself in making and keeping me happy. I cherish all that we had, he was my friend, partner, soulmate, there will never be another like him. I miss him everyday with each passing minute.
I am down to a size 13/14, it has been steady the past few months until my husband's untimely passing. My current weight is 190, bra size has shrunk to 40I that may not seem like alot, but trust me, 52G is much larger. There are days i look in the mirror and still can't believe that i can see my old self and then there are days i think will by some reason will i gain all that weight back? I don't never wanna be back in that position to have the health issues, loss of movement, being handicapped and trapped inside of a shell.
Yes, my stomach sags, inner thighs are wrinkled, under arms are sagging but so what. Those are the things to expect when the skin stretches. I don't exercise at all, i have really fallen off. My diet is the same, i don't weigh my food because i don't eat big portions anyway. You may as well say, I have proportion control. The only bad thing i can say is that I don't drink protein anymore and i promised myself i will start again because i know that is vital to my health. I have just started taking vitamins again. A friend of my mine told me never to stop taking the vitamins because your organs may not be able to absorb enough from food, in turn may cause your organs to shut down (she had a friend in the hospital with that issue). So don't stop taking your vitamins.
Me and my bbf are the same size, we don't look it because she is shorter and we both are maintaining and being each other's rock. With all the bad things going on around me, she has truly been an angel in my life.
Even after losing my husband i was blessed with the birth of my first grandchild, Kassidy Sheila-Marie Johnson, (which i have fallen completely head over heels in love with) her birthdate was predicted by my husband weeks before he passed. He was waiting for her just like i was. Without God in my life I know that I would have stumbled and fell, but he has his workers working real hard to hold me together.
  
Until next update, Happy New Year's to everyone, i pray next year be a better prosperous one for all.
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My Story I never felt uncomfortable with my weight before. I was happy with the size that I was. My clothes fitted and I felt comfortable in my clothing. I had my 3rd child and soon after I began to gain weight slowly. Soon I was diagnosed with Graves Diease, which I began to lose the weight without effort because my metabolism was working overtime and I was shedding the pounds without efftort. Then I took the radioactive iodine and I became hypothyroid, it slowed my metabolism way way down. I dieted and I would lose a pound (like 1 pound in 2 -3 months). Very discouraging. Then it got to the point even dieting, I could not lose the weight, instead of losing, I was gaining. I am also top heavy (large breast) bra size right now is 56 G. That is too far in the alphabet (LOL). Yes, I have back pain from carrying the twins. That's what it feels like, carrying two babies on your chest. I am having difficulty in getting up from low sitting places, so I am more apt to sit in a chair than on a couch or better yet stand, which in turn hurts my back cause of the extra weight from my chest. Then I started experiencing the food/acid coming back up which caused me to take Nexium (more pills).
When i reached 300 lbs, and my doctor wrote in my chart "obese" made me cringe. I did not like that and I knew it was time to do something. I had heard about the bariatric procedure and knew 2 people who had the surgery and they look great. Me and my bestfriend (both with weight issues) decided (I had my mind made up - she was still scared) to have the surgery. We talked about what would fit our lifestyle. We both support each other which I think will work out fine. We are requesting surgery dates together, so we can do it together. I had heard about Dr. Wood through one of my high school friends that had the surgery. She had a weight problem all her life and she looks good. I suffer from arthritis in my knee and carpal tunnel syndrome. I have a family history of diabetes. Luckily, I don't have it and I don't want it. I made my mind up to do something about it. I started working out about 3 times a week, working on the weak parts of my body. I was getting fit but not losing weight.
Last month, I had my consult with Dr. Wood's office. My BMI was 54. That is not good. That really convinced me that I have to do something. This past Monday, I had my psychiatric evaluation and now I need a letter of support from my private doctor. My husband and best friend are my best support. My kids don't really know about what the surgery is about, (they are boys, their minds are on girls). I am ready. With God by side, everything will be fine. My friend has a test to take, and I have la letter of support to get. We should be right by April and hopefully this will be my birthday present.
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