My background

May 12, 2014

I was the "solid" child. I remember one summer day, while driving around with mom, looking down and thinking "wow my upper legs are big." I was 8. I didn't know what thighs were yet. I remember being bigger than all of my friends. I remember my parents putting me on weightloss pills and them making me feel hungrier than I was. I remember watching my parents fight and running to the kitchen for food. It was comforting. I remember my senior year of high school looking at my senior pictures and asking, "who is that?!" I had gotten so big and did not have a clue. I honestly did not know the pics were of me. I was in denial. 

In 2004, I decided to make a change I went from almost 600 lbs to 250 by 2009. It was a lot of hard work but I did it. In 2010, I was in a car accident that turned my life upside down. The teen had been texting while I was parked at a red light. He hit me so hard that it impacted my car and the 5 in front of me. Unfortunately, mine was totaled completely. I lost my job. I lost a lot because he needed to reply to a text. A month after everything happened I met a sick individual. He was convinced that I was prettier at a larger weight. I was so vulnerable. I just wanted something good. I ran to food for comfort. I was in so much pain that I stopped exercising. EVERYTHING I was doing right... I started to do wrong. 

I have tried so many times since 2011 to lose weight and regain my life. But I continued to gain weight. 

A few months ago my Dad got his inheritance and was buying me a car. I said to him with tearful eyes that I would rather have the gastric bypass and have a tool to help me regain my life than to have a new vehicle. He bought me the vehicle and 3 days later gave me 3 checks to cover my surgery. I have done everything my surgeon has told me to do. I have been on the liver shrinking diet for a good while now. I am seeing the lbs fall off. 

I look forward to having the surgery. Not because it is the easy way out, because it's not. It is still mandatory to make lifestyle changes and stick to them. I look forward to it because I will finally have the help I need. 

And before you ask, yes.. I do see a therapist about my addiction of using food for comfort. I do not really run to food anymore like I used to. I go to the gym and do other helpful activities. 

There you have it. This is my Pre-Op story.

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