Getting close to Onederland

Mar 09, 2012

I am trying to keep to the philosophy that each day, I am happy with my weight. I try to say to myself....whatever happens from here, I am satisfied at this weight.
Some days, its easier than others. Like if the scale has moved down, or at least hasn't moved "UP"...then I am OK. When it starts to creep upwards, my faith becomes a bit shaky...

As I get closer to onederland, it becomes increasingly frightening. It' almost like this is for real!!! LOL!!

I have never been under 200lbs in my adult life. The last time I was under 200 was when I was in high school!!

I must say, I am almost enjoying shopping. I can't go on my own though....I have to take my Honey with me. I am still unable to figure out sizes on my own and am too shy to start asking the sales person to bring me all kinds of different sizes.

I did pick up 2 pairs of dress pants on clearance the other day for under $ 5!!! They were a regular size L. I figured there was no way on the planet that I would be able to wear them now....I figured they would be for "later" when I lost enough weight. But when I got them home, my Honey made me try them on and sure enough.....they fit. A bit snug, but I have a feeling they are supposed to fit like that. You can see the shape of my butt!!! Are you supposed to be able to see my butt shape???

They feel a bit weird too. I am used to wearing baggy pants that come right up to my waist and these sit on the hips. I feel like my butt crack is showing. My Honey assured me it wasn't....but I still felt very exposed in them. Are they supposed to fit like that??

And when I look down, I see my thighs.

Not my belly.

My thighs. And I can see the muscles move under the skin when I walk. I get so engrossed in watching how my muscles make my body move that I can literally walk right into things!!

Does this make me vain? I am not doing it out of vanity I don't think....just out of sheer amazement. I mean, look!! I have muscles!!

and I caught myself in the mirror in my old pyjamas. The pair of 4X that my mother bought me for Christmas 3 or 4 years ago. They look awful!! hanging off me like I am a bag of bones....which trust me, I am certainly NOT!!! But I decided it was high time for new pyjamas.....and again, my Honey had to pick them out. I couldn't tell. I kept gravitating to the plus sizes. Sure enough, size L was fine.

My next set will have a built in bra though.....I have serious gravitational-pull issues in that area....the new ones have a tank top and I kind of felt a bit trailer-trashy with my wife-beater on....so ya, next time...definitely need some sort of support!!

I may almost be ready to attempt bathing suit shopping.....

Almost ;)

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