Told my family today

Mar 10, 2011

My initial consult with the surgeon is scheduled for next Thursday.  I am nervous and excited at the same time.  

Today I told my mother, father and brother about my upcoming consult.  For about a month now,  I thought I would not tell my family about my decision to have surgery.  My brother is a physician and so is his wife, so you would think I would want to share this journey with them, right?  I have many reasons why I didn't want to tell them, that would be a book if I wrote them all down.  The main reason I didn't want to tell them was this overwhelming voice in my head that keeps saying "what if this doesn't work too".....  I have been on so many diets and failied, just like many other people that are obese.  I just didn't want everyone else to think "there she goes again - jumping on the next band wagon for weight loss"  or "what if it doesn't work?"

I finally came to the realization that I need to be completely honest with my family.  All of the "what if's" kept popping into my head.  "what if I don't make it through surgery?"  being the main one.   I would hate for my family to be in the dark about what was going on.  I would hate for my husband to be left with the responsibility of telling everyone what happened - and for him to tell my truth,  something I wasn't even willing to do.  

All of the reactions I dreamed up in my head about what my family was going to say were not reality at all.  In reality they were very supportive and understood completely.  They have seen me struggle with my weight for so many years.  They understand our family history, and how I didn't want to become a statistic of dying from a weight related problem, like so many in our familiy.  My mom's reaction was, "cool!  A new body, a new you to go with your new life!"  I was so surprised and pleasantly surprised with her response.  

I am glad I shared my decision with them.  I will need their support throughout this journey.  

I need to quiet all these voices in my head that are constantly "negative talking" for me.  This is just another example why these voices are hardly ever accurate.

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