Oh Dear
Nov 13, 2011
Well I started this journey and new way of life on September 24 - and I have followed every step to the letter. I journalled and and I exercised. As of yesterday morning I was down 35.2 pounds. It has become my quest to lower my BMI and make myself healthier while waiting for my surgery. I did a damn good job.That is until yesterday... I went to an Epicure party and met my kryptonite...CHEESE. oh the dips, they are so good and there was a new one I just had to try for Christmas...how could I not???? ONE bite, I could handle one bite. And I did. Very well. But I was extremely good at the other 40-50 bites too. No exaggeration there...I must have eaten what amounted to a whole block of cream cheese and goodness only knows how many crackers and chips and bread to go with it. Bad day? This was more than a bad day. |Some people do not eat that many calories in a bad week!!!! I was (and still am) very mad at myself and made up my mind that it was a new start. And onwards and downwards (on the scale) from here.
But then..in the evening I went to play cards and there was chocolate. I like chocolate but I don't usually crave it. But then this idea kept ringing in my head - the day is already gone to pot...have the chocolate. Start over tomorrow. I listened to that voice. I have not heard it in weeks and took it in like a welcomed friend. But I woke this morning groggy and gross from my sugar over load. Felt like I had a hangover and remembered, albeit, too late that the voice was not my friend. Not even close.
I am still mad at myself, I am down right pissed. Why could I not just stop at one or two bites. AHHHH. It has reconfirmed why I need another tool to help me with this battle with obesity. I need it because I have not been able to do it on my own. I am regrouping. I am still not quite done with the mad at myself part but I will get there.
In the meantime, my loseit journal for this week has started on the right foot a good healthy breakfast was on the menu. I recorded everything I ate yesterday. And when I am tempted again I will go back and look that that long, long red line of over my daily budget calories on November 13 and use it to help silence that nagging voice encouraging me to eat what I do not need.
Off to the treadmill with the hopes that next Sunday's weigh in does not punish me too bad. I will walk a little more this week, I will look back and remember but I will do all I can to let go of the regret. After all if we do not remember our mistakes we are bound to keep repeating them. Regret is the useless part.
A bad day has ended and a good day has started - That is, I guess, as good as it gets.
Trina
PS I did place an order :-)
