I haven't updated in awhile. I never got the funds for weight loss surgery. However in July of last year I decided to try losing weight without it. Since then I've lost 43 pounds. I have 92 more pounds to lose. Its a long hard road and sometimes I don't stick to my diet and exercise plan but I am keeping pushing forward and not giving up.

I have a blog for my journey at www.fattofiguregirl.com

I was cut off AHCCCS health insurance because I get Unemployement (after being laid off from work)
So now I have no health insurance.
 I weigh 291 lbs.
I spent the day watching WLS videos on youtube. I can't wait for the day I have a medicinal tool to assist me with weight loss.

I still don't exercise at all, except going to school which is about a mile away

I don't eat as many sweets as I use to it and I don't gorge myself in one sitting anymore. But I still eat whatever I want. Today I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, sushi for lunch, and a sloppy joe burger with cheese for dinner. Jug it all down with cranberry juice.

I know one day, I will be blessed to have Weight Loss Surgery. It just hasn't been my time yet.

I've had a headache for almost a week now, a stress headache, my shoulders and back hurt from so much built up stress. I cant even take ibuprofen or NSAIDS for it because they contribute to the ulcer I apparently developed. I had to take 14 days of PrevPac for that. For this headache I've been taking Tylenol everyday and it isnt helping much,

My surgeons office is really getting on my nerves. I thought I had to see the psychologist once a month for 6 months so I started seeing her and had seen her twice already.
But NO, They want me to see her once a week for 6 months. That's impossible. I would have to take 3 hours off at work every week because her office is all the way in Scottsdale which takes me about a hour to get there and 1 hour to get back to work, plus the hour session. My job would be very upset about that because I already take 4 hours a week off till April 1 for my 8 week  Chemistry class. I've pledged to do my best not to take anymore time off. because they were so understanding last week when I took time off to go to Detroit for my grandfathers funeral,
 plus time off for the sleep study a few weeks ago and a myriad of other Dr. appointments I've had to go to just to qualify for this surgery. Enough is Enough. I am sure my office manager and my boss just want a reliable employee who shows up and puts in her 8 hours of work per day.

So this was alot of drama and phone calls between the psychologist, me and the surgeons office. The psychologist doesn't work Fridays or Weekends which is the only free time I have. Friday evenings I dont have school, so that would've been good. Well the result is I have to start all over with another therapist. I was hoping to  go back to the therapist I was seeing last year. He is available evenings and weekends. So I go see him this Saturday and the problem is it turns out he is not a psychologist, he is a Licensed Practical Counselor (LPC), they actually require MORE education for LPC than psychologist. I believe you can be a psychologist with a bachelors degree. A LPC requires a Masters. Anyway, so now I have to see if SBC will let me see him, I have to ask them on Monday. I guess I thought that was all straightened out cause he talked to them, but today he said I need to ask them if its ok.  hopefully he can provide the surgeons office with everything they require after the 6 months. They actually called his office to speak to him and He understood that he needs to write a letter of endorsement at least 6 months out but it would still be at his discretion when he feels he can write it.

Anyway he can atleast see me on Friday evenings or saturdays. I also saw my psychiatrist today too. Thank goodness he can see me on saturdays. I wish all my Dr's could see me on Saturdays, then I wouldnt have any of these problems with my schedule.

Don't get me wrong. I do feel like I need all this therapy and behavior modification counseling, it just has to work with my busy lifestyle. I can't let myself get into a bad position at work because I am always taking time off and I can't let my grades slip or miss class so I can go to therapy.

I am really stressed with school. I am getting behind because I missed a weekend of studying when I went to Detroit. So I am 3-4 chapters behind on my math homework and I don't know how I did on my bio test since i didnt have time to study for it.

Also I am sleepy. I've been taking a myriad of medication for awhile. I wonder if the Depo Provera is what's making me cry all the time and feel so depressed. 
Every morning I take: prevPac, GNC Women's Ultra Mega multivitamin, GNC Fast Cal 500, Glucosamine with Chondroitin, Wellbutrin, B-12
Every evening I take: PrevPac, Iron, Benadryl, Melatonin, XYZAL, Singulair

I had a cat scan of my sinuses last friday and they are normal so I must just have allergies to something, he did say I have a deviated septum and should get surgery to breathe better. We'll see, I am stuck with a $172 bill from them for crap my insurance didnt cover, so I am really irritated with that particular ear nose and throat specialist right now. All these tests, sleep studies, endoscopy, all that shit to basically get no help. Atleast I found out I dont have sleep apnea and dont have a sinus infection.  I just dont know where I am supposed to get $172! Why didn't they check to see if something was covered by my insurance BEFORE they did it?

My boyfriend kinda wants to break up cause I have no time for him. He can't make up his mind. I told him it's up to him. Bottom line is I have no time, he can either wait it out, or break up with me. I'll be sad, but nothing i can do about it, I have shit to do you know? I cant juggle all this stuff. It's too much