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I spent a wonderful weekend in L.A. visiting my sons and enjoying the warm weather.  I did things there I would have never dreamed possible - like being comfortable in a crowd!  I felt like I didn't stick out - except for my cool shoes.  I wanted to stop and eat on the way home and my husband said, "Again?".  I was taken aback.  I had nothing for breakfast, had gone out to lunch around 1pm.  We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant in L.A. and I ordered a Tostada.  I started with about 4 chips with some guacamole.  I ate some lettuce, some chicken and black beans on the Tostada and had nothing to drink.  When went to a movie and I ate about 1/3 box of Milk Duds.  Then around 4:30pm, I got a small Robeks smoothie.  I got a bit defensive with my husband and started recounting my caloric intake for the day.  Therein lies the problem.  It seems I'm back to justifying my eating.  It was a big red flag for me.  Looking at is closely, I think I'm riding the edge and OK as long as I don't go over the side.
The weight gain of 2lbs is awful, but the biggest awful is the concern that I'm not looking at the food face to face.  I was listening to a Joyce Meyer's tape on the way home from L.A. and I remembered that I'm not required to over eat.  I can say no.  And I also realized that by riding the edge, I'm really taking this gift for granted and are on a very slippery and dangerous slope that I don't want to be on.
I'm thankful today for that understanding and I'm praying for the strength and grace for all of us to slow down, look at our lives honestly and truthfully and choose "Life in Abundance' and health.

Hi guys,
I'm down from 313lb on the day of surgery to 181-184 depending on the day.  I haven't lost much weight the last couple of months.  I don't get as full and that really, really worries me.  How do you know if you stretched your pouch?  I've read that question so many times, but I've never seen it answered.  I'm a bit depressed about money, job, etc., and that, in the past, meant eating more.  I could use a lot of prayers and answers!

I can't believe I haven't written since January.  It was good to read the prior posts and reflect on what's happened over the last year.  I guess I haven't written because I've been so busy living....and so grateful for it!  In a couple of weeks, it'll be a year since I layed down on that table scared to death.  I will forever be grateful that God gave me the grace to have this surgery.  I am down 115 pounds to date.  Incredible!  Walking is so much fun.  Running up the stairs is a breeze.  Playing soccer in the backyard with my grand-daughter makes us both laugh.  Grammy's "bat wings" are a big hit with all the kids!  I can walk 4 miles with hills.  I can swim 1 mile without stopping. I am happy.  So happy.  God bless all of you, too.

I haven't written in a while.  I wanted to wait until I saw the doctor again for an accurate weight loss, but whatever!!  I was moved to write today because of a support group meeting last night.  I've been going to a support group in my area since my surgery.  They meet every 2 weeks and are basically people who all had surgery at Valley Care in Pleasanton.  I'm starting to wish that I did, too!!  The woman who runs the group is extremely knowledgeable and I could listen to her talk all day.  She is such a comfort.  I had been having trouble with throwing up since the beginning of December and nothing tastes good.  I haven't been getting all my protein and have been pretty depressed about eating in general.  After last night's meeting, I feel so much better.
I had gone back to soft foods and was not happy with that.  But last night people were sharing how they still cannot eat beef/pork and how nothing tasted good the first year.  Everyone seemed to know this!!  I have been searching ObesityHelp and other websites for help.  Just knowing that this is common gave me such a relief.  I woke up this morning with a renewed sense that I'm on the right path!  
I see Dr. Morton on January 25, but I think I've lost about 50lbs since surgery!  Yea!!

Saw Dr. Morton on Friday for my first follow-up visit since surgery.  He said all is well and I'm ahead of the curve with my weight loss....24lbs since surgery!  So I left feeling good and ready to tackle those pureed foods.  It has been 3 days of pureed foods and I am now tired of pureed foods.  Especially since they have to be high protein pureed foods.  Lord have mercy!  

I've decided that I will continue to have 3 protein drinks a day which will put my protein intake at 66g per day.  That should take care of my protein needs and I don't have to be so careful about making sure every bite I put into my mouth has mega-protein!  A little less pressure!

I forgot one little item.  I woke up the evening of my surgery in the middle of a 5.6 earthquake!  God was shaking the world to let me know He is in charge and working!!

Hi guys!!  I'm home!!  Everything went so well.  I was beyond nervous going into the hospital.  They didn't give me any drugs until I was on the table because I needed to manuever myself onto this special table, so all my anxiety was mine to deal with.  When the put the mask over my face, their was a brief millisecond when I thought...last chance to turn back!  But I took a deep breath and off we went.  I really hated the waking up part.  Not because of anything other than everyone was yelling!!  "Tammy, Wake up!  We're done!  Everything went well!".  Nice news, but well above the normal decibal level.  They said there would be discomfort in the gut from the air they pump in to seperate things so they can get a good view and have room to move around.  They weren't kidding.  EEK!  But, you know, after 24 hours, it was certainly tolerable and I was ready to do what I needed to get out of that hospital bed.  Now, don't get me wrong....I would have loved to take the nursing staff home, but the bed was torture.  I never sleep on my back!  The pain, the agony....kidding!!  But really, that was the most discomfort I experienced.  My surgery was on Tuesday morning and the doctor released me Thursday late afternoon.  My incredible hubby had purchased for me a wonderful recliner and my family was so happy to see me....first time ever they were standing in line - "Mom, what can we do for you?".  But there was really nothing.  I tried the oxycondone the first night I was home only because my back was hurting and I was hoping for a good night sleep.  I hope to never experience that medication again.  I hallucinated - I was in control, but had yucky, vivid dreams and couldn't calm my mind down to sleep well.  After 2 days of narcotics, I was getting the shakes, too, so I cut out the pain med and haven't have any problems.  Hot showers running down my back and a heating pad work wonders!  Here's what my food consists of currently - 1cup skim milk, (8grams protein), 1/4c non-fat powdered milk (6grams), 2 Scoops of Designer Whey Chocolate Protein Powder (36grams).  I mix this all together on the morning, divide into 3 portions and add a bit more milk to each portion as I drink it to thin it out.  I'm getting a minimum 50grams of protein a day.  I'm pleased with that.  I'm getting close to 48oz of water, but I found two things - one...I have to really slow down my drinking, actually I need to stop drinking and learn to sip.  A full tummy is painful.  Two - I need to make sure I'm sitting fully upright (not in my nice, new chair) when I consume my protein.  Again, full tummy can last a long time!  Vitamins - check, Calcium - gonna wait until blood work on first doctor visit, exercise - walking around the backyard mostly.

I know there were an awful lot of us having surgery on October 30.  How did you guys do?  I was praying for all of you and truly hope your experience has been positive and you're all in a good place right now.  Keep me posted.

Thanks to all who sent encouraging messages before surgery.  I cannot tell you how much they meant to me.  Really helped me through the last couple of pre-op days.  Love to all!

Hey guys,
My dad is home from his Lap Band surgery and I'm overwhelmed at how smoothly the procedure went.  He went home the day after surgery, is settling into getting the liquids into his body and has such a positive attitude!  I'm so thankful.
In the meantime, on the homefront, I have been receiving e-mails from people on OH and I cannot tell you how much they help.  I've had the jitters for so long now, I almost didn't recognize the excitement when it started to show itself!  I think the tide is turning!
I'm sitting at my desk trying desperately to put things in order so I won't worry when I'm gone about how my business is doing!  I probably won't get everything done that I think I should, but I'm starting to feel that it just might be OK.  Somethings changing inside me.  It's exciting!  Can't wait to see my 3 surgery buddies on October 30.  Thanks for the prayers everyone!

I haven't written in a while, but I've been on the site many times in the last month to read all your stories and get encouragement for the road ahead.  God willing, I will be having RNY surgery on Tuesday, October 30, 2007.  I read in so many profiles of the excitement many have before surgery and I can honestly say, I'm not feeling it.  I think it's the stress of preparing my life/household/business to function without me for a few weeks that's making this such a stressful time.  I know the world will keep turning without me, but somehow, they always find me when they need something and I really just want to concentrate on myself right now.  My dad had a lap-band procedure done this morning at UCSF and according to my Mom, all went very well.  Praise God!  It's nice to have someone so close to kind of walk together down this road...in addition to all you, of course!  My insurance considers the Gastric Sleeve experimental and would not agree to cover it, so, after praying about it, I am going with the RNY.  I kind of have the same feeling I had when I was about to give birth; that nesting instinct!  I just want to spend the next couple of days preparing my little nest!  
My dad just called!  His surgery took a little over an hour and he sounds great.  Hard to imagine they were operating on him only a few hours ago!  And he hasn't had any paid meds yet!  There's hope for me!!
I met 3 other ladies that are having their surgery the same date as me at Stanford.  They are so wonderful!  I hope we can room with each other or near each other.  Our own little support group!!
OK, I'm feeling better now.  Writing really helps to get the yuckies out, doesn't it?!

Last week was a big one!  I completed Dr. Morton's pre-surgery requirements.  I got a call from the doctor's office for final documentation to submit for approval and my decision of what type of surgery I want, so it's all in the insurance's hands now.  I prayed about the type of surgery and I'm going with the Gastric Sleeve.  My doctor's office is still trying to meet my surgery date of October 30, 2007, so I'm praying the insurance company will get the approval done quickly!  Apparently the Gastrick Sleeve is so new that some insurance companies are not covering it yet.  I hope this is not the case with my insurance company.  I don't want to be a guinea pig!  Moving right along!  I'm feeling better about everything.  I picked up a couple of good books about living with gastric bypass including some cook books that were recommended by the psychiatrist.  Next stop - insurance approval!  God is good!  All the time!!