Cathy_C.
How do I begin my story? I have been struggling with my weight and dieting off and on since I was about 12 years old.
Thing is - I look at pictures now and I WASN'T FAT! lol Seriously though, I chunked out a bit (it was the age many kids getting the onslaught of hormones do). Well - mom (who had her own weight issues) freaked out. Since my sister, who is 11 years older, was already about 20 pounds overweight herself, mom was in fat panic mode. I am not blaming here - just telling my story. I have resolved my issues with her and her choices then and I am very grateful to say that we have a pretty darn good relationship now.
I continued to yo-yo diet for about 14 more years until I finally lost a little over 80lbs to get down to 180. I was thrilled! I was a divorced mom of two terrific boys, I felt great, looked great and my confidence was super strong (or so I thought). The weird thing that I came to realize (with my good friend's help) was that the first thing I told people when I met them was about my weight loss. It was like I felt like I needed to disclose that I was actually a fat gal disguised as a normal gal (sheesh!).
Well, I finally got past that and eventually met and married a terrific guy. During those three years I stayed between 180 and 200lbs and was pretty darned happy & healthy. Soon after we married, I became pregnant (yay!!). I gained just the right amount of weight (about 28lbs) and gave birth to a georgous 9lb 22inch long baby boy. When I went into the doctor for my 4 week checkup I was wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans! I thought I had my weight problem licked for ever.
I had to go back to work full-time when my baby was only 9 weeks old. It was the most heartbreaking and stressful thing - and I was completely unprepared for the emotional toll it would take. That (along with other normal stresses of being a new wife and trying to keep being a good mom to my older boys) just overwhelmed me and very soon I began to have an incredibly hard time controlling my eating. I was eating emotionally again, trying to numb the anxiety and stress and it was out of control. Cut to 11 years (and many diets) later and I am now 299lbs. (my highest weight ever).
I can't walk for more than about 15 minutes without getting winded and sweaty. I have back problems very frequently, as well as severe snoring and asthma (just in the past couple years). I can't ride most of the rollercoasters I love, or a horse, or a bike as it is just too painful.
I am a really good Realtor and I struggle to keep up with the physical demands and image related aspects of this job that I love. All of my clothes are too tight and I won't even look at the pictures of me at my sister-in-law's wedding (first time as a bridesmaid) because to me, I look like a burgundy satin clad freak. I don't feel good about myself, I don't feel sexy anymore and I am a grump to my husband much of the time - so my marriage has suffered as well.
The topper - the absolute topper - is that my youngest son is starting to show some of the attitudes about food that I know were the beginning of my struggle (he will just eat and eat out of boredom, and the first thing he thinks of when it's time to celebrate something good is food, etc.). I don't want him to go down this road, and I know badgering him will make everything worse. I guess I am really just now realizing that getting my relationship to food under control is vital - not just to me, but to the people I love as well.
After some research, much soul searching and prayer I believe that WLS is the right path for me. So I consulted with my doctor (ready with a list of logical and solid reasons to talk him into it) and he not only agreed, but told me that he felt I was a very good candidate for WLS because he feels that I am now truly committed to make a change.
I am just beginning the process leading to my surgery date and I am nervous and thrilled. I know it sounds funny (and I shouldn't count this chicken as hatched yet) but just being on my way to a real, viable solution gives me hope that I haven't had in such a long time!
I plan to read as many stories on this site as possible, and to read as much information and tips to prepare me as well. I would very much appreciate any encouragement, tips, and help you all have to offer and I hope that I can do the same for others as well.
