Megdot582

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Until my mid twenties I never had allergies, at least not enough to bother me significantly. Oh how I wish I could go back to that... I am seriously struggling this season and it feels so early for it.  My eyes, nose, throat and scalp are terribly itchy. I am horribly congested and sneezing so much my abs hurt. There: now my whining is done, I apologize for that. 

I -am- concerned about future allergy seasons though. I worry about medications being effective if I absorb things differently. For instance I know that if my migraine medication proves to be ineffective after surgery there are other options available. But it seems like for allergies my only other option is really the nasal sprays and they have given me bloody noses in the past. 

Also, around times of... upheaval or major changes my allergies have changed as well. Naturally this has never been for the better and weight loss surgery is certainly another significant life change. 

As I have said before I am desperately trying to make sure I am as educated as possible before my surgery date. I do not want to be surprised and unprepared for anything. This allergy season has reminded me though that some things you really only think about when in the midst of them. What are some things that only become issues for a small number of people only some of the time so they aren't really mentioned? I guess I will just have to be flexible and okay with the fact that something this huge is all encompassing and not every aspect can be planned for. 

Today marks my 63rd day logging my meals in the LoseIt! app. I have gotten here before. I have even surpassed this mark by a long way before. The difference this time, and the reason I am mentioning the occasion is because this is the first time I have gotten this far and still felt like this is only the beginning. I have over a month until my surgery, and even that will just be another new beginning. "Every dawn is a new day" is really ringing true for me.

My pre-preop diet is generally consisting of about 1500 calories. A hard boiled egg and protein shake for breakfast, a 250 calorie jimmy dean turkey sausage sandwich for lunch, a protein rich dinner, and snacks are generally sources of protein or sugar free pudding. I also use the treadmill for 65 minutes 5 Days a week, along with personal training 2-3 days a week when I am able. I feel very good about what I am doing at this stage and am certain I can keep it up. 

I wonder though, so many people in the forums and other support groups seem to really struggle in their various preop diets, post op liquid phases and the different problems that arise after surgery; how will I cope? I read things about hair loss, moodiness, boredom with food choices, etc... and I think "that won't be me!" But that is mostly bravado. Education about these things can only take one so far, it isn't until you experience something that you know how you will handle it. In 3 months, 6 months will I still be proud of myself?

I am reading everything I can find regarding weight loss surgery, good and bad. This is one of the biggest decisions of my life and being prepared is all I can control right now. 

With my upcoming surgery, I keep wanting to put my life on hold. A part of my brain is still so preoccupied with looking ahead that I am having difficulty staying in the present. Because of this, I have found myself cancelling and changing plans. However, last week was the Sewing and Stitchery Expo. For the last five years I have attended at least three days of it with a friend of mine. I was not going to miss this year!

As the first day approached I began to worry about food and exercise.

Fair food is all deep fried and even without the consideration of surgery it is not good for me. I decided to plan for the expo as if I were on a sort of pre op diet for breakfast and lunch. I packed protein shakes, hard boiled eggs, babybel cheese, and clementines. It worked! I wasn't even tempted by the offerings of the fairgrounds and it also saved me a lot of money (which I spent on quilting supplies).

Exercise was trickier. I packed sneakers and workout clothes but I have never been good at actually going to the hotel fitness centers. I did manage it the first two nights, but by the third I was so exhausted from all the walking around the expo that I had to skip it. So to make up for that a little bit I walked even more the last two days, but never got back to the fitness center. It wasn't enough really, and I know I could have done better, but I will be proud that I did anything at all and this time had to pack sweaty work out clothes at the end!

As always the event was amazing, I learned so much and expanded my sewing room supplies and fabric stash a little bit more; but coming home is always the best part. I missed my husband and my house terribly. Still though, I was not looking forward to weighing myself Monday morning. Yes, my food during the day was better,  but dinner we ate out every night. This morning though I did what I needed to. I had to see the damage I did... 

Surprise! I had lost 2 lbs to get within half a lb of my goal weight! 

I thought that I had done better, and I guess I was right. Someday I will learn to be easier on myself and not so critical of every perceived mistake. 

After a little over one month of crazy planning and many appointments I made the final phone call and was given my surgery date. This has come after a lifetime of being overweight. However, I only recently began to consider surgery as a possible tool. Despite the relative haste with which I have gone from decision to date I find myself already feeling anxious. I am confident about the choice to have gastric bypass surgery, nerves are not so much the problem. Rather, I want to get on with it. I understand that there are things I need to do beforehand, losing weight,  preop diet, develop new habits to make the transition easier, amongst other things. 

I have been working hard, reading, researching, discussing, asking questions, shopping, exercising, dieting and more in preparation for this enormous change. Now, waiting another two months feels like agony. I know many people have to wait much longer because of insurance requirements. I struggle with this though. When I am presented with a situation I do what I need to make decisions quickly and confidently then move forward with the resolution. Delays frustrate me and waiting causes more anxiety than the actual doing. 

My husband thinks this waiting is good for me. He told me earlier on that he hoped I would have time between getting the surgery date and the date itself, time to process, to learn more and prepare. This is how he does things, and I understand that it is important to him that he have time to process as well. This will probably not be the most difficult struggle I face over the course of this journey, but it is one there is no answer for. 

Be patient? I don't do that very well... heck, I used to dig through the trash to find my parents Christmas shopping receipts, because I couldn't stand waiting. 

Two months...