Trish-hoping

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Well it has been a couple of years, almost three since I posted last. Here we are at Jan 2014 wow. Things have changed but some remain the same. I am currently weighing in at around 220.  I have maintained my weight give or take a few pounds for at least two years now. I have to really watch the grazing and what I choose to eat. The amount has not greatly increased thank goodness, I still eat about a cup or a bit more depending on what it is. Better choices equals feeling better now. It isn't all about weight loss anymore it's about how I feel. I had my extended tummy tuck with anchor cut in Nov 2012 with Dr. Abdel Raouf Ismail in Fredericton, NB, just an hour from where I live. I feel he did a great job. A little pucker on my right hip that could use fixing the next time I have surgery. I love my tummy and have to watch if I gain a few pounds it looks funny on my upper stomache and sticks out there. I did scar quite badly above the belly button but it is fading some with time. Over all well worth the money and healing process. I look better in clothing and tighter shirts now. Still could certainly lose more weight but would have to be willing to change my habits and exercise more to maintain a greater loss. My quality of life is very good and my marriage relationship only gets better and better. I have more fun and don't think at all about chairs, showers and washroom facilities the way I did when I was obese. It is a huge relief to be a helpmate to my husband instead of him having to help me with everything. We are certainly more equals now and work together on things, that is such a gift. I still love my sleeve and thank God everyday for a second chance. I do get lazy with my eating and fall into bad habits and have to force myself to snap out of it. Maintenance takes work, more than losing did and I work at it plenty. If I didn't I would gain right back up again. Could use a bit more discipline lately and am trying to get away from sweets again....it will always be an ongoing battle but well worth the fight! I have a dream to have more cosmetic surgery some day should our finances improve. My legs are a mess and my arms could use surgery and also a breast lift but it isn't all necessary for health, just vanity and comfort. I still plan to someday, maybe when I'm 45 or so I hope. For now I am enjoying life. I have had some problems with my right knee for about 6 months. Had an xray and waiting on results. I am wondering if ten years of carrying all that weight did some damage but am hoping its fixable...meanwhile I work at Tim Hortons on the Beardsley Rd since July 13 to help with finances and Jonathan started in June with his Dad after we discontinued our woods business. Thats all for now, kids are great and growing up fast. Later gator...

Well time goes by for sure and wow we are almost through April. I have good news to report, I hit my lose 100lbs by 6 months goal!!!!YAYAYAYAY wow that was a biggy for me and now 85 to go til goal. So the weight does continue to come off. I have to tell you though it sure has slowed down the last month or so. I find if I lose 10lbs a month I am doing really well. Sometimes I have to step up the low carbing to reach that goal. I would love love to be at goal by a year but that maybe a tad unrealistic. So if I could be at say...200 by a year that would be down 155lbs. Hmmm a big goal but once summer and hopefully more activity and exercise kicks in, it is doable. That works out to 10/month. So far I am hitting that goal at the slowed down weight.  We will see and I will post every couple of months or so to update about that. So life is better, same stuff, new perspective. It is amazing what you can deal with when you don't have self loathing to contribute. Lets just be clear though, i have God to thank for that, not surgery but the surgery has been an answer to prayer all by itself. My health, sex life and mental health are much improved because of this 100lbs gone. I still have a ways to go but am over halfway now. wonderful wonderful. I am finding I have to go high carb for a week and then back to low carb for 2 or 3. It works well for my body and seems to knock it back into losing mode. For those who struggle with carbs this could be dangerous and I do find the first couple of days on low carb to be difficult but after that I feel wonderful. I have to also say that Spring cleaning this year was a revelation! I could go and go like the energizer bunny and lost over 6lbs in 2 weeks from low carb and cleaning. so that was the extra boost to get me to my 6month goal! On another note, Pastor Bonnie asked me to speak on Wednesday night to the adults and that is new. I was honored but nervous. I felt the word God wanted me to speak was on "our identity in Christ(as Sons and Daughters of the King)" I was snow stormed out this wed night so will speak next wed and maybe elaborate on what I have already. All I can say is God is preparing me for big things, healthwise, spriritually and mentally. I am getting ready so exciting....Til next time my favorite blog...til next time!     Trish

So I normally don't write two blog entries this close together but I am seeing a new trend in the last few weeks. Carbs have been in my diet alot again. Now I know we are not supposed to say food is good or bad but I do have a bit of a history that got me to 362lbs in the first place and unhealthy carbs had a part in getting me there. I personally do not have a problem with incorporating healthy carbs in somewhat but I soon find I begin to have blurry lines about what I want and what I need. Also I am still trying to figure out what works for me and my sleeve. I also want more carbs as I eat more which is very common and my weightloss may slow down. I know for a fact my calories are a bit higher than most at this stage in the game. I would say over a 1000 for sure but am not positive how much over. I should be tracking better just for my peace of mine. That all being said my weightloss so far seems fine still. I was down 75lbs by the end of January which is what i had hoped for and set a small goal for. It didn't look like it was going to happen and then I took a couple of days and layed the protein to me and ate more than usual(of protein), including two shakes at 30g each and my weight seemed to drop fast that week(down 4lbs) to reach my goal of 75! I do not exercise yet as my weightloss has been great without it. I have no problem with exercising though and am dreaming of when I can bike and jog again. I am actually really hoping for summer to be able to do this. We will see how it goes. I will get out walking again when the weather gets a bit nicer. I am wondering if my lack of hairloss may have to do with my higher calorie intake or if I am just one of the blessed ones. It hasn't happened so far anyway, mind you I am just over 3 months out and some peoples start about now. We will see and hope it doesn't happen as I already have thinner hair in front from hypothyroidism or obesity who would know. Sorry for all the rambling but I had many thoughts to write and think about and I will keep you posted on the carb thing. I have been experimenting abit with the resistant carbs that our bodies do not digest just to see if it really does speed up fat burning or if it is a myth. I have been eating a banana a day (4.3g of resistant starch) amongst other things to see if it makes a difference. Once again i do not like feeling like I have to get in all of this food and it does add up in terms of calories so we will see how that experiment goes. Til next time, blessings Trish!

Well time does have a way of going by with or without us. The difference between now and before surgery is, then, I mourned the lost time to be healthy and missed life. Now, I am excited because each day that passes I am smaller. Just a thought also this is the first New year in forever that I haven't had to make losing weight a resolution! I am currently down 68lbs as of this morning Jan 9, 2011. My current weight is 286.8lbs. I haven't been this weight since Feb of 2008 when I was having gall bladder problems! This was the lowest I got though and so next weigh in it will be over 5 years since weighing this low. Cool I would say for sure. I thank God everyday for a tool to help me to finally get rid of this cursed weight. I am starting to hope and dream for the future and setting small goals. On an interesting note I am still learning about my sleeve(VSG) it is funny I always had a sweet tooth and am finding a couple things(chocolate) too sweet. Like gaggingly sweet. To funny because nothing was ever to sweet for me before. Also I have days where I really could care less if I ate, just saying that is so foreign from my lips. That also was something that never happened, even when I was sick I still felt like eating. So this last week I ate very little every day, mind you I did have a cold and wasn't feeling well. I find the first couple days before I start my period my body does a funny hormone thing and I don't want to eat. I am not saying that there aren't days that I don't have the munchies, there are, but alot less than ever before surgery. So needless to say, I love my sleeve. My second chance at life and health. I am very excited for summer to come and to see what that brings. I honestly cannot even guess what I will look like or feel like by then. It is fun to shop in my own closet. I recently went through it and have gone through most of the sizes now. I am on to using hand me downs(nice ones) from my sister and friends. My sizes very greatly according to brands but my pants are now a 2x down from a 4x at my largest. My shirts are a 2-3x down from a 5-6x at my largest. So we are making good progress there as well. I will update in a month or so again, to see how far we have come!! bye for now...

Wow I am here to tell you stalls are really hard on the head. Really... So I stalled a week and a half ago. Actually I went up 3 lbs from my lowest. This did mess with my mind, it wasn't because of not losing weight although that was crappy also. It was because of past failures and figuring that I had lost 40lbs, stopped and would now gain again. It has been my old cycle in the past and so it is the familiar thought pattern you turn to. I knew deep down that this was different and my body was just trying to recuperate from losing 40lbs in 4 weeks, however.... still hard to tell my mind that. So today I am happy and very thankful to say that I am 1lb below my lowest(41lbs now) that means I am back down 4 from a week and a half ago. yay yayaayyy thank you Jesus for your faithfulness. Also TMI I haven't had a period since surgery and am due this week so once that happens things may really take off. I am excitedly drinking my protein shake this am, am going to go for a record of 3 today(that would be 90g of protein, if I succeed) and that would be just in the shakes. Premier Protein shakes from Cosco rock!! Awsome stats for those of you who want to know:160 cal, 3g fat, 30g of protein and1g of sugar in 325ml, that is great stats! So those are my go to protein and believe it or not they do not taste like whey protein, I know it sounds to good to be true but,,, its true! They only come in chocolate but they honestly taste like choc milk. So that is my commercial for this blog. Yesterday Sloan(my 3 year old, and my baby) went to Ormoncto hospital to have his teeth fixed. He was put to sleep and the dentist fixed like 6 teeth. (or more) and cleaned them and coated the rest of the molars not fixed. So that is such a relief to have behind us and maybe I was stressing about it more than I thought. Grammy Costain came with us and he did amazing. Was not a happy camper to not have his sippy cup all morning but by 10:30 am was in surgery and out in 1hr and 15 minutes crying for mommy. It snowed hard and we made it home safely, God is good. I think that is all pertinant information for now and talk to you soon fellow Wls peoples. xoxo Trish. Oh yes I should mention the "head hunger" thing. For the first 2 weeks mostly after surgery I had alot of cravings and wanting my favorite foods. I was quite worried believing that sooner or later I would cave and destroy my chances for success. So here is the thing, when I stick to protein, I have less cravings for carbs. When I indulge to much in carbs I crave more and more, to drive you crazy cravings. Also I found that with the third weeks the head hunger went away because you realized that you could only have a bite or two anyway and it wasn't the end of the world if you did have a bite or two, just don't make it a habit or regular thing.  My weight this am was 314.4 lbs. So yay down 41 as I mentioned up top. Lets get a going, I have 145 lbs still to lose. Bye for now, Trish

Well it is definitely time to update! I am now two weeks out from surgery that I thought would never come. It finally did, I got my call (actually I called them) on Oct 14, they had tried to get a hold of me the day before and I missed the call. So when I called they said yes we are scheduling you to have surgery with Dr. Beausoleil on Oct 28th wow I flipped. That was only 2 weeks and so I had to immediately start my boost and water. Talk about withdrawel and headaches, also started my period then, whew rough week. Any how I lost 21lbs in my pre-op liquid diet, that was a great start for sure. I had my pre-admission tests on Tuesday the 19th in Moncton. I had bloodwork, an electrocardiogram, x rays and a meeting with Lisa my favorite WLS nurse! It went pretty smooth, my cousin Susan was with me for support and company. So it ends up they were admitting me on Oct 28th and I was having surgery on Oct 29th. Everything went well and my awsome sister Marj flew into Moncton from Ontario to be with me during surgery and for a week after to help out at home. How blessed I am to have such a great sister. So here I am 2 weeks later, healing and trying to figure out my new little tummy. I am still working to get in my protein and water, it is a full time job. I have my appt on Monday the 15th to get my staples removed thank goodness for that, they are driving me crazy! Really! I am down 40lbs in 4 weeks(counting the pre-op diet) so all is good and will update again in a month or so. !!!!

Well so much for writing every month and perhaps I should have as this could be a long one. In March I signed my papers and committed to the RNY gastric bypass. At the time Dr. B talked with me seriously about the sleeve and had recently lost a healthy, young patient from the GBypass surgery. He was visibly shaken still and told me the facts about the sleeve and the lower risks and quicker healing and whatnot. At the time it was an unexpected shock as he was very supportive of my choice at all the former appts. So I pressed through and insisted i wanted the GBS. I had my sister from Ontario with me who had done well with the GBS in fall of 2007 and had lost over 200lbs including her before surgery weight loss. She encouraged me at the time to stick with my choice. This has been a long journey for me and as I got home and began carefully weighing my options and thinking, more research and the VSG forum, I began to lean in the direction of the sleeve. Some GBS patients were experiencing difficulties with foods and dumping and the whole blind stomache thing really bothered me.  After much soul searching about my reasons for having the surgery and how important my quality of life is to me I decided i for sure wanted the sleeve. Also an important factor to keep in mind was that the sleeve is step one of the Duodenal Switch surgery(which is still my #1 choice but not an option at this time) So back to Moncton to resign papers in June and here we are. I am no longer anxious and know it will be here soon. We are still feeling it will be fall for surgery and there are 8 or 9 ahead of me now. Dr. B only gets so much OR time per week and it is alot slower in the summer.

Much has happened to me spiritually since my last post and I am a changed woman. Wow weight is no longer the only thing I think about and life is suddenly worth living again. Sounds dramatic I know but there have been some big changes in me. I have been through deliverance and to Prophetic bootcamp and God is at work in my life. I think I will leave it at that since not everyone understands this stuff but needless to say I am ready for my outside to match my inside now, not the other way around. I have every confidence that I will be successful with my surgery because of getting things in my heart and mind in order. Thanks blog for letting me tell my story and for any of you who are searching....take care till next time.

i forgot to tell about my appointment with Dr.B on Jan 11. He was very nice, young and some think very good looking. He told me yes he would accept me as a patient and that because of my age and BMI i could choose whichever of the three surgeries that I wanted. He said some are more suited for some people and usually people have a preference. He told me if I wanted to get under 200lbs I should have the Gastric Sleeve or the Bypass. I told him I preferred the Bypass. It is the most drastic of the 3 but also the most aggressive for weight loss and a better choice for me I feel. So he was impressed that i had lost between 70 and 80lbs with my most successful diet. I didn't tell him that I have done that at least 3 times before. I told him the losing wasn't really the problem but the maintaining and gaining more. Basically I dieted myself to this weight. I was 339 on their scales and a BMI of  56. He asked what would happen to me health wise if I didn't lose the weight and I said diabetes for sure, so prominent in Moms side of the family. Also my joints would all wear out, and my Sleep Apnea would get worse. That was about all I could think of but there is many more things that I would face as an unhealthy woman as I aged. Pretty good session all in all. He asked if I had been overweight all my life and I said pretty much, I went on my first diet  in grade 8. I specifically remember it as it was Herbal life and Marj and I were on it together and did well. It was shakes and vitamins with one healthy meal a day. He stressed that this surgery was only a tool and needed to be used properly and I needed to work hard not expect a quick fix. This was stressed repeatedly in my all day session also. Anyway that is all I can think of for now.  

Well in keeping with tradition I am trying to write something every month. I figure it will be important one day to have something to look back on to see where I started from and how far I have come. So yesterday I left home at 4am and travelled to the Georges Dumont hospital in Moncton to have my all day info session with Dr. B' s team. There was 7 of us; 1 having the Sleeve, 3 for the band and 3 for gastric bypass. One of which was me, having gastric bypass that is. The day was very informative and we met with the dietician, the nurses, the phyciatrist, the physiotherapist and a testimony from a lady that that had the band. As I was sitting there with other morbidly obese people and reflecting on how I got into this mess, i was thinking about all these healthy, pretty people trying to help us on our journey to find our true selves. Deep I know but I am not just a pretty face you know. I am getting more free with telling people what I am doing with the WLS and leaving hints on my facebook so people will know something is up. I haven't come right out and said it but have talked about the journey and steps to reach it some. If they know what WLS stands for then they may have figured it out. Of course my friends and family know I am pursuing it.  So anyhow that was my day and I got home at going to 8pm so a long day but I was so thankful to get in that quick. For the record, I had my initial consult with Dr. B on Jan 11 and my all day info session on Jan 19, 2010. Very quick and I feel blessed to have gotten that last available spot yesterday or it would have been March before my next session and so maybe I moved my surgery up a couple of months. The team told us anywhere from 4-9 months before surgery and we will be done by the end of the year. So that means by next summer, biking for sure and maybe running if I can handle that by then. Shanice is so excited and so am I. Jonathan keeps a bit more quiet about it but is full of hope I can tell and talking positive about it and glad I am taking steps to get healthier. I told him I got excited the other day about maybe going on the motorcylce with him and 4 wheeling again together. So much stuff I have missed out on in the last 10 years or so. Fat and being fat sucks and I can't wait to be healthy again! Not to mention a hot mama..haha the pychiatrist told us that had to be a secondary desire and not a primary motivator for surgery. So my primery motivators are as follows: to be healthy, to be able to run, play and bike with my hubby and kids. To not feel to ashamed of myself to support my active family at TKD classes and tournaments. To have poeple take me seriously and believe in me again. To believe in myself again. To not have to worry about which chair to sit in, in waiting rooms, restaurants, airplanes and generally anywhere that has chairs. To walk by a window or mirror and smile. To keep up with my two year old and tire him out instead of the other way around. To be able to go outside and play in the snow with my girls. To appeal to my hubby and have him look at me in "that" way, the private look that happily married people everywhere share! Well the list could go on but secondary motivators would be: to have my body match my face instead of being the fat pretty girl To look in the mirror and be happy with how I look, to be oogled by a good looking age appropriate man who thinks I look good(maybe only once!) ummm to have my kids be able to hug me and have their arms go around me. To wear stylish pretty clothes and high heels again. yah that is all for now, oh yes to be sexy and feel sexy again. Shallow I know but nonethe less stlll fun. bye til next month, i wll turn 36 on the 22nd of February. My forties are going to be fabulous, I know it...

Things can change in the blink of an eye. I didn't write any posts in Nov because there was absolutely no changes on the surgery end of things. I did manage to do the Atkins successfully for 5 weeks and lose like 23 lbs and a month later I still have that off so that is good news. So i guess the newest news about Dr. Savoie is not good, at least for us DSers... Very discouraging for sure. However I do have a bit of encouraging news, I have been on Dr. Beausoleils list for the RNY since August of 2007.  As soon as I found out the DS wouldn't happen for at least another year and maybe not ever in NB, I started thinking of my options. I could either see about switching to the lapband and hope they would keep my place in line from my original consult with Dr. Savoie of Oct, 23, 08.  I don't feel that the lapband is for me and that I need something more agressive as I have a higher BMI. I have a sister who has been successful with the RNY surgery and is a little over 2 years out.  So I figured I would call Dr. B's office and see where I am on the list and Miracle of miracles I was due to be called and she gave me an appt over the phone for January 11th so to say I am excited is a slight understatement....i am looking forward to meeting the surgeon and praying that I fit his criteria for the RNY surgery which was my first choice before I heard about the DS.  Let me just say if Dr. Savoie called me tomorrow and I had the choice between the two surgeries, after about 4 years of research I would choose the DS in a heartbeat but with that option out of the picture for now, I would be very pleased and positive that I would do very well with the RNY also. I am a very postive person and like to make the most of what life dishes out so I think this tool will help me fine.  Let me just be clear, I to have gained and lost hundreds of pounds, but just couldn't seem to keep it off and have a current BMI of like 55 or more. Anyway I will keep you posted and we will see what Dr. B has to say, if you are reading this, pray for me!!