rough week

Jul 30, 2012

 Well,
I have had a rough, rough week. Last night I was at a point where if I could flip a switch and undo my RNY I would have. I am sure I would regret that in a week or so, but I was at a bad place last night. 

I have been having trouble with my protein. A lot of trouble. The smell of it makes my tummy churn a bit, but drinking it makes my stomach cramp up and then I feel awful for a little while. I got to where I could not even bring myself to drink any. I tried everything, changing flavors, adding ice, letting it sit so it wasn't so cold, adding milk, taking out milk..nothing makes it better in my stomach. I am so over it that three days ago I just stopped drinking it. In fact on Sunday all I had was three bites/drinks of soup.  Yesterday all I had was water. So I called my Dr's office. I could not get anyone to call me back. 

I finally called the after hours number last night and talked to a nurse. She was not at our practice, She called from SC. She paged the DR and talked to him, then called me back. So everything was relayed third person. I was not thrilled about that. She actually told me I was just going to have to put in the effort to get the protein in...that was almost my last straw! I have put in the effort. I have been drinking this crap for 3 weeks now. I drank it while I laid in the bed and my stomach tied it's self in knots and then I threw up. I don't think its appropriate to tell me to "put in effort" if you have no idea what I have been doing...and I told her as much!  The Dr said it could be I have developed a sensitivity to the Whey, since I drink whey isolet protein. He said try something else and see if I could keep that down. 

My friend who had this surgery two years ago said there are these protein liquid shots at GNC that to her tasted like watered down drinks that she used cause she didn't like the protein. So, I guess I am going to run over to GNC and pick one up and see if I can get it down. I was ready to just move myself to the pureed diet last night so I could get something down!! I am going to try to wait until I talk to the Dr this week if they can get me in. But, my actual Dr's apt is not until the 10Th almost two weeks from now. I don't know why it is so far out, but I am not waiting that long to start eating again. So someone better call me back today. 

I don't hate my RNY, I hate these little bumps I am having and the fact that someone accused me of just not trying and I'm upset with the Dr's office for not calling me back yesterday. I am moody from not eating and I am tired of not being able to enjoy a meal with my family. I have lost about 10 lbs this week since my surgery and almost 40 lbs over all since my pre-op diet. I get it's working and that once all this smooths out I will look back and be okay...but for now, in this moment. I am struggling. 

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