Cathy A.

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I am trying again. Its been over 9 years,  but I am now on medicare   and they pay for   wls.  My doctors  have been wanting me to have  this surgery.  My cardiologist  the last time i saw him  says my heart is strong  despite haveing  3 stents. But i never hadd a heart attack.  Caught everything early.  But that was a year ago.  The wls center is having their own dr  check me out next tuesday  Feb 27,2018.  I pray everything  turns out okay ...  It does scare me a little..   I need to leave it in Gods  hands ..I have chosen  the duodenal switch this time..  my weight loss surgeon andd i  believe it is the best for me...  I am also  worried about a small anneurism in my esophagus.    My  gastrologist   is not worried about t   it has been there 7 years   never change  He didnt think it was anything to worry about   well we will see.   The  weight loss center  is going to have their own gastrologist   to check me out  later  ..   Lots to worry about  and eitheer one of  these  things can cancel  it yet again   I am praying.... 

My insurance only has a 3 month wait.. for this i am thankful  just hope i get to have it .... If you are reading this  pls  pray for me 

It has been 4 years since my last post.  I never got to have the surgery    For some reason Dr Hall decided at the last minute  I was too big a risk and cancelled  my date. He was afraid of the past issues  of my heart  even tho my cardiologist  absolutely said there is no  risk .. I took it as a sign from God it ws not what he wanted me to do .  Now  4 years later and several pounds heavier  my doctors are  wanting me to  have it done again.. I am going to a different dr   a Dr David Syn   I just put in the call today .  this time  I am going to try to get the VSG  We will see how it goes this time  I am ready>

     My date is August 5, 2008    wow,  I am excited.  I thought I would be terrified... But I am at peace.   I have already  been up and down the roller coaster the last few months.   Maybe it is a good thing when we have to wait to get approved.. It gives us time to really come to terms with this decision..  Today  this minute I am okay.  I feel I am in the Lords will....  Now tomorrow  or the next day I may totally freak  and run screaming to the nearest exit!  But today  everything is good.. Dr. Hall told us at the pre op consultation   it is not to late to change your mind  up until the moment we go under the anesthesia...  He has had people change their mind on the operating table!   He said that is fine  it is not writen in stone .. but He also said everyone came back a few days later ready and went ahead with the surgery .. but I bet they had to wait  to get a spot  for the surgery.. I dont think I will do that  I am pretty well set with my decision .  I can see my self   waking up from the surgery  yelling   "Is it too late to change my mind?"    I am onery like that sometimes.. I am in a good place in this moment in time... I have hope.   I have a future.   And I have  a wonderful support system in my husband family and friends   and most of all My Lord  has brought me peace and joy with his presence.. I just pray  I continue holding on to this thought...

The doctor's office  turned in my letter about two weeks ago..  Last friday  Maria (the nurse )  said  she called to check on the status.  It is still pending.. 

In a way I see this weight as beneficial..  I have been really thinking about who  I am .. and what I really want from this surgery  besides the obvious  health benefits.. I have been thinking of this as a new beginning anda new hope... but that is on the outside.. I really need to work on the inside or psychological and spiritual me too.. Spiritually  I am quite strong right now.. but I dont know about others but my spiritual life is a roller coaster  up and down I wish I could be more consistent.. But psychologically I need to mend things with myself .. God has forgiven me for many things  but I am must more critical of myself  than Abba father is.. I want to take this time of healing my physical body  and also heal my broken soul also.. as my introduction states God takes the broken and makes it beautiful .. I am going to take the time  and let Him do this.. I want to become beautiful from the inside out.. How am I going to do this?  By meditating on his word  and praying  (speaking to Abba father) with out ceasing ... praising him and Thanking him for all things.. I am also going to let myself  "not"  be so critical.. it is okay and normal to make mistakes  and to be different from other people  .. and  and not try to conform just to be thought of as normal.   I am a little quirky as my husband calls it..  but he also says that is what makes me , me.. and he likes that about me.. I am also going to try  to journal my journey  here.. so that it may help anyone reading it..  but I am not very good at journaling , I get too busy  living life and forget about writing it down  but I will try .. Zeph 3:17

A week ago today ... I came across a profile  that literally almost scared me out of going through with this surgery .   This sweet person  was deparingly  telling why she wld never  go through with this surgery again..  The first one I have ever come across .. and her symptoms really scared me .. I wondered  wld I be tradeing one set of  health issues  with others.. I talked to dh.. he said there are always going to be complications  for some people  for whatever reason  but that does not mean  I will have those  same complications..  there is a chance I might.. ..anyway I sit down and listed my pro's and con's..  My pro's still far outweight my  cons.. My health issues for one  .. If I hope  for any  quality of life  other than just sitting around insteading of enjoying life.. I am going to need this surgery  I will just have to trust the Lord.. I am in his hand..