amiesue
My journey begins...
Jan 25, 2011
I had finally decided on WLS last year, only to find out that while my insurance company covered it, I was not able to have it because my company specifically disallowed it. I felt hopeless and crushed. It took me a very long time to get to the point where I could admit that I had failed in this area of my life... that even though I tried, and sometimes has limited success, that I couldn't beat the weight. I was always a heavy kid, and at one point did lose weight, but after that I got a lot of attention and some of it was not in a good way which ended very badly for me. After that I gained weight, I understand now, as a protection, no one ever wanted to bother me when I was fat so that is where I went. Even after I came to terms with that point in my life I was still left with the food addiction, which is truly what I believe it had become. I couldn't go cold turkey or avoid food, I needed it to survive, but I couldn't stop myself, either and soon it became a vicious cirlce. You get fat enough that the co-morbilities set in and the medication doesn't help you lose weight. You are too big to fit on exercise machines and your knees hurt with walking, it becomes a downward spiral and you head toward that metabolic explosion. All the while I was still inside... I missed bike riding, I missed walking the dog... all the things people take for granted and avoid doing I was wishing for and when I finally accepted that surgery was a tool I needed to succeed I was shut down. Luckily in the new year (2011) WLS is now covered and I am 2 appointments (1 month) into my required 6 months of nutritional appointments. I am focused and want the surgery, I know it won't solve my problem, but it will be a huge tool for me moving forward.
