It's been awhile...

Aug 15, 2012

 My little sister died of suicde May 29, 2011... I've been reeling ever since.. My world is shattered...im still picking up the pieces and ive been running in circles...and through it all I have stopped taking care of myself. In some crazy way, I just thought to punish myself for awhile.. After all I was so happy before all of this. How can I be happy now? I just Feel guilty for living...we both struggled with depression.....I'm anemic and gained 10 pounds back. Gradually. I'm trying the 5 day pouch test. Today was day one...I made it through just fine. You see that's just the thing...no matter how hard my circumstances are- I'm always fine. I always get things I have to done...bc I don't have anyone to do them for me...that's part of being a grown up...I just wish I had some parents that I could lean on...I feel like no one understandś what a nightmare I've been through...

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