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 It has been over 6-7 months since my surgeries. 
I am so so so happy that I made this decision. 
Even though I was in and out of the hospital for over two months and had surgeries back to back I would go through it all again to have the success and feel the way I do. 
I have lost over 80lbs and I am so happy with where I am now! Only 15 more pounds to go! 
Next stop is plastic surgery!

 So to make a long story short, this what has been going on.
I came home after leaving school and they admitted me to the hospital for 3 days.
They then let me go home with new meds and a new plan to make me feel better.
I then went back into the hospital for fluids December 16 came home throwing up
constantly. I was then admitted the 17 I was there until  December 26.
They pretty much said I was not leaving until they fixed me.
I sat in the hospital not know what was going on for days. On Monday 21 they put
a scope down my throat to see if they could see a stricture and try dilate my sleeve to
fix my acid reflux problem. So they did that and dilated my sleeve. Well it didn't work as
well for my reflux and all of our options were exhausted and we had to turn to surgery..
The gastric bypass would resolve the reflux. So on Dec 23 I went into surgery for the bypass.
Not only did they do the surgery but they also took my gall badder out and added a
feeding tube as a precaution, because if I couldn't eat or drink we could use that.
I was in a for a really really rough recovery. So I was in the hospital recovering for
3 more days until they discharged me. Spending Christmas and pretty much my entire break :(
I have been in so much pain and I have really been down emotionally. I have my
feeding tube - which is the most painful thing I have ever experienced on the left side
of my stomach and then I have 2 draining tubes on my right side. I feel just terrible.
I get my drains out Monday and I'm not sure how long the feeding tube will be in. 
I'm freaking out having two WLS in less than one month and I am pretty much second
guessing my decision to get the surgery to begin with... It's not even about weight loss
anymore its about my health and getting back to my life which has come to a screeching halt. 

 It has been a tough couple of days. I had to go back into the hospital for dehydrating and horrible acid reflux.
It has been a rough road.
But I have lost my first 25lbs! And I am starting to feel better day by day!

So I had my surgery on Tuesday! Everything went very well! I came home on Thanksgiving
I am recovering okay! The heartburn is just horrible! I think it's worse than my incisions! 
I have some medication for it but it is constant and incredibly painful!
I am having my mother take me home tomorrow, it's a 3 hour drive. I hope it goes okay! 
She is then staying with me to help for the next two weeks! 
Yesterday was the worst of it, I think. I mean it can only get better right?
I can't wait until I start feeling 100% In no time at all I should be all back on my feet!
I took a 15 minute walk at Kroger with my Mom and was walking about the house all day! 
I walked up and down my stairs and I also wrote half of my paper that's due Monday! 
So I am feeling pretty good! 

 Oh my gosh. My surgery is tomorrow morning. I cannot believe how my 3 months have flown by! This is crazy! 
I am so excited and I cannot wait! Today will fly by! 
I haven't cheated once with my liquid diets and I am so proud of myself! 
I am going to kick my excesses weights ASS! See you later! 

I cannot wait until I can see all these people who have always known me as the chubby girl and watch their mouths drop because of my new transformation!!

YAY! I am so excited!!    

 I have 25 more days until my surgery! I am so excited I can't even stand it! I have complied so much information and "cheat sheets" for every step of the way! I feel so prepared but I know that there will be somethings I can't be prepared for! 
I begin my full liquid diet in 12 days and I have my last doctors appointment 2 weeks from yesterday! I am going to try my very best on my liquid diet. I know that it will be hard and trying but I need to pull through it because I know it will only help my success in the long run. I am so happy to have such a supportive group of friends and family. 
It has been difficult for me to tell people about my surgery. I have told all of my imitate friends and class mates. I have told my professors that I am having surgery and I plan to only tell one fully about what kind of surgery.

Sometimes I feel...
                Embarrassed to tell people who I know wont really understand 
                If I tell them they will realize how big I really am (I am sure they already know) but it brings it more attention to me I guess
               Frustrated that now I know that I am having surgery, I don't want to do anything social.. because I want to scream just wait until I am skinny! You wont look at me like that then! I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin much more than I have ever felt.
            Lonely that I wont have my love Jake by my side. Jake and I have been dating for 4 years. I love him with all of my heart! However, he left for the army and boot camp in early September and I will not see him until after my surgery. I get sad because he is not here to learn and go through this process by my side. I have been sending him my information and telling him as much as I can but it's not the same as if he was here with me... So I am battling through that and knowing when he comes back he will be with me and support me with anything.
               Happy that I told my best friend that I am having surgery. I was afraid that he would be mad or not understand. He's actually my ex boyfriend whom I love very much and is one of the most important people in my life. I pride myself on still being very close to all of my ex boyfriends. He lives in my home town and I rarely get to see him and I couldn't tell him on the phone. He will be with me during my hospital stay and be one of my biggest supporters. He was so cute though, he said "you wont look like my Ashley anymore" He is my solid rock, when I am having a problem trying to figure out myself all I have to do is look at him and talk with him and I find me. 


Today I decide that with my surgery coming up I want to concentrate on my weight loss and health and not be so stressed with class work. So I dropped one of my Zoology courses which lightens my load significantly so I hope it will be worth it! 

 40 Days until my surgery!  I can't wait!
This is me doing the dishes, I don't want to look like this anymore!