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So another fill, this time we went crazy and upped me to 9.5, and my bestest doctor made sure there is not much air in the band.

I can eat MUCH less, when I drink I need to take small sips, I'm loving it especially that it's been a week and I still fill the restriction and lost about 3 lbs in six days. I just do hope I can stay away from chocolate. And ice cream. That's the worst part - I can watch what I eat, I don't eat wrong food, I make good choices but show me chocolate or ice cream and I am out of control.

So that's it for now.

A week after my last fill my husband and I went to Poland to visit my family. The visit went great - everyone was amazed how good I look and that I don't eat much any more. I could not believe how little I ate myself.

After we came back from Poland I got depressed - everyone I love was there - my family and my husband - here in L.A. I am pretty much alone with my husband and not many friends so it got me slightly depressed and even though I exercised and kept my diet most of the time I did not feel like going to the doctor for a fill at all.

Last week I decided I will go after I'm done with my period cause this is when I am the lightest. Having decided on that I felt much better and that scary afternoon I was grilling some chicken to have protein snacks handy when after I took a bite the horror started. It hurt like a s-o-b. I tried to drink something but no luck - everything would come right out. And I was su burpy I was scaring myself and my husband.

I could not fall asleep because it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest, I felt like I was choking though I could breathe easily. I went and surfed internet at 3 a.m. and realized that I have all the symptoms of band slippage so as I am a self-pay I really really started freaking out.

I finally went to sleep and when I woke up it hurt a little less but after I threw up a piece of chocolate I started freaking out again. I called the doctor and he said I should see him ASAP.

I went in the afternoon (it was the longest day in my life so far, I swear) and the doctor said that the slippage would cause a lot of pain and he suspects I just had the food stuck so he wanted to take out all the fill and see what happens.

SO he did just that and I felt so much better pretty much right away! I was able to hold the drinks and softies the next day and today I am a brand new person. I am pretty surprised I don't eat as much as I did before the surgery but I am going to get my fill back on Thursday!

Yay!

Another's doctor's visit - I think the doctor gave up on me as a fast loser, but at least  I am being consistent - another 4.5 lbs in 4 weeks, which puts me at 28.5 lbs since the surgery almost 6 months ago, and 35.5 from my highest. Not that awesome but not bad either, I know quite a lot of people who would love to lose 35 lbs in a year, but then I paid a little less than $500 for each lost pound. Damn.

Anyways, my fill is up to 10 cc, I have no problems drinking, and judging by the morning - no problems eating. Dammit. Wtf wtf wtf???!!!

I noticed that after every fill I lose 5-6 lbs within a week and then 2 or 3 creep back up and I am stalling.

So frustrated.

Another fill in a week.

I lost 4 lbs since last fill. Slow. Frustrating. Now my fill is up to 9.8 and I feel like I have less restriction when I had the previous fill (at least at the beginning).

I'm fucking up.

Very frustrated.

When I went to my doctor's last week I had my "omg I am so pissed, wtf y'all" attitude all over because I was hungry and not losing despite of waking at 5 a.m. every morning to exercise. And all I got was 1 lb loss after a whole month. Screw that.

My sweet sweet nice doctor was not too happy either so we went for a big fill - and fourth time is a charm, previously some air got into my band so that was why it wasn't working but this time he put 9.4 and ... I am not hungry. I eat like a little birdie bird and so far I lost 4 lbs in a week! How awesome is that?

However now I do have problems drinking enough water as I need to make tiny tiny sips instead of monster gulps, and tiny tiny bites of whatever food I am eating. Kinda crazy. But it feels awesome.

So yay!

I have one size smaller pants than at the time of surgery and they are loose. It's time to unload the boxes with smaller clothes - the clothes I was buying for "when I lose weight"; it's better than shopping because I like all the clothes and I don't need to pay anything.

I need to update it here more often, especially that it looks like it's working now!

Yesterday I had my third fill and I do feel some restriction but not that much, I think I expect my apetite to magically go away but so far it's not happening. It's there and it's hungry for chocolate and other carb-sugary goodies.

I admit I haven't been watching my food as much as I should, I was slacking with water, I hate the vitamins, and I expect miracles.

I'll win in the end. Yup, I will.

And I am 26 lbs lighter than I was this time last year so there.

Yesterday I went back to the doctor to get the second fill. My port is a smart bastard because it hid and the doctor had a hard time to find it. Call me the pin cushion. It was not that bad, really, I was just getting worried it moved somewhere (like around my bum area) and then what?

As for now, I have 7.5 cc, I was very cautious yesterday but today the less cautious greedy pig in me woke up, I struggled to finish two hot dog sausages for breakfast. I couldn't. My nose started watering, my eyes were about to pop and then I had that horrible pain feeling in my esophagus. Man, it hurt, But I was wicked happy cause it means the band works on me. Yay.

Can't wait to see more movement on the scale, down movement to be exact.

Dirty unconditional love to my lapband.

The fullness after the first fill lasted about 48 hours. Then the starvation kicked in. I upped my exercise routine so that did not help either.

My doctor said we should meet in six weeks for another fill but I emailed him and he decided to do another one next week (April 10th) because we should start agressively.

My doctor is better than yours.

As for now I am trying hard not to eat too much, exercise and work on my water.

The scale bastard doesn't move.

It's been six weeks since the surgery and according to the doctor's scale I lost 20 lbs, not bad but my house scale says it's been more so I like my house scale better. Take that Doc :)

Other than the scale issue I got my first fill - 4cc! I had a tiny cup of water at the office and I could feel the burp, which means I am full and shouldn't be eating or I'll be burping like mad.

I was stupid enough to youtube the fill procedure yesterday so today I was expecting six feet needles being stuck into me for at least half a day and then leaving me to bleed thus losing weight. But instead, Dr Lublin just poked me with one regular size needle, injected the saline which felt kinda wierd and that was it, I had that needle stuck when I drank some water just to make sure it's all ok and I don't need to be poked twice. The water went down, and off I went ... to cancel my Curves membership. Seriously. I hate Curves, I hate when I am all huffing and puffing and some woman is desperately trying to talk to me, I hate touching sweaty machines cause people rotate so quickly no one wipes them. I hate Curves. So there.

As for today I am supposed to have clear liquids only, and then tomorrow I can have the regular food if I want to, just hopefully I'll be eating less and not be hungry. Recently I had the feeling I could eat a cow and a calf inone sitting.

Anyways, 'tis all y'all!