Jenniffer H.
So a week out...
Jan 06, 2010
I can't believe that at this time last week I was leaving the hospital to go home and start my new life. They left out a few things in the new life manual. SO let me fill in a few of the blanks.First they never told me about the emotional roller coaster I would be on for the first couple of days. I can't believe how much I freaked out. On Thursday I remember waking up and thinking what had I just done was I nuts? I remembered that my surgeon had never really spoken of the size of my stomach until after surgery of which he equated the size of it to his thumb...his thumb. I knew it was going to be small but that really put it into perspective. I remember crying and just wondering what I had just done. But after a few days of pep talking myself I finally realized why it was so important and what I was going to gain from the journey.
Next I didn't truly understand how hard it would be to consume 64 oz. of water. They talked about it before and I was like yeah right I get it but I'll get it all in in one day. I am still only able to get about half of my water in. Which needs me to my next blank.
So no one truly told me about the gas that you get when you drink to fast which in turn causes you to burp and hurts after you have just had your insides rearranged.
Food has never looked or smelled more amazing after surgery. You are not hungry but you still smell that stuff and think of how good it used to taste. My mind now goes to a whole other level and I remember how it used to taste and I think about how I would stuff myself with will say chicken fettuccine alfredo but when I was finished I still wouldn't feel satisfied. I would be full but wouldn't feel full. I now know that when I can eat solid food again I look forward to coming up with alternative ways to eat my old favorites but to only have a few bites and enjoy the food and move on to better things in my life.
As I am physically healing I am trying to mentally heal as well. I know that my relationship with food can never and will never be the same ever again. For now I look at myself like a drug addict and there are certain drugs like chicken fettuccine alfredo that I can never eat again. I am ok with that because I am sick of hiding behind my fat and not going out there and being ale to live life with everyone else. I am sick of sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else play. I want to finally get in the game.
I stopped reading the posts about the negative outcomes from people's RNY surgeries and I have started to believe in myself for the first time in a really long time.
A man in my life told me that as long as I truly believed in things there would be nothing that I couldn't achieve and when I finally understood that statement my life would take a turn. I want to say that I understand that statement and my life has taken a turn for the better and I believe that after all of my failed weight loss attempts this is the last time I will ever weigh this much and I will never allow food to run my life. I believe in this for myself and all of my friends on here.
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About Me
Grand Rapids, MI
Location
37.6
BMI
Surgery
12/29/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 18, 2002
Member Since
