Bellaluna468

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 I haven't been hungry on the liquid diet, but I gave in to the "Head Hunger" last night, and today.  I have been doing really well, but the constant "sweet" tastes are killing me.  Over the weekend, I was able to get past it with homemade chicken broth.  Last night I couldn't fight it anymore... I had 2 hard boiled eggs.   Today, I had 1/4 c of tuna... granted nothing too terrible, but I still feel extremely guilty about it.

I can only pick myself up and continue trying to stay away from food, especially as it gets closer to the day of surgery.

I have done better today about getting in all my protein shakes and water.  I was averaging 3 shakes a day, when I should be drinking 4-5.

This is not pleasant, but it's not extremely unpleasant either.

I have been able to lose 7lbs. so far.

 I got pulmonologist clearance...completed my nutrition class and my required support group meeting.

I have a surgery date...10/26/12!

Today I begin my first day of liquids...so far, so good.  I feel tired though.

I have my pulse ox overnight test and hopefully it will show that I do not have sleep apnea.  I can't turn it in til Monday, but I'm going to get it done tonight and then I'm done.

I have my official surgery date of Friday, 10/26!  I'm both excited and nervous, but it will be good.  I can do this.

I have found such an inspirational person out here in OH who has struggled a bit with complications in the beginning of his VSG journey.  When I found out I was unable to get VSG done due to the Barretts diagnosis, I thought my journey was over before it began.  I was devastated!  I told the few people in OH that I couldn't have VSG and I was defeated.  It wasn't until this special angel contacted me, that I began to think differently.  Having RNY wasn't the worst thing, older people than me have had it done and are doing fine.  Complications can happen with any WLS surgery, and if that happens I can deal with it as my special angel did.  I have fears and I'm nervous like everyone else who ventures into this, but I am not a failure as I consider myself to be.  I am taking a huge step to live longer, be there for my family and to feel better about myself.  I can do this, and I have a very good surgeon who knows what he is doing.

I will succeed!

 So I have gotten a lot done...the biggest I have left is the gallbladder scan and then the pulmonologist on Thursday & Friday.

I have requested October 23rd as my surgery date...

I get nervous often...i still question  my decision often,  then I look in the mirror and can't see any other way.  

Hopefully all my cardiology records are transferred and I don't have sleep apnea.  Then I will make my surgery date.

Seems like a silly thing to do ... there were 338 questions on the computer.  Do you hear voices...Do your animals speak to you... Do you hate your family... I got through them as quickly as possible.

Then I spent time with the Psychologist... He was nice.  Asked more questions to see if I have an addiction problem, or depression.  I had him laughing a bit and I passed.

Really seems like an unnecessary step in the process.

 I'm scheduled for my gallbladder ultrasound, psych eval, pulmonologist...I have already had the EKG and stress...all that may be left is the chest X-ray.

i will be starting my 2 week diet in about 2 weeks I think...so it is becoming more real now.

i hope I'm making the right choice...I'm nervous.

 I had my first appointment with the nutritionist in preparation for surgery.  It went really well...I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was anticipating a lecture.

I have been reading through these boards and knew what to expect, liquids, 2nd stage liquids, purée, then introducing new foods as tolerated.  I actually gave her info with the eggface website, she didn't know about that one.

next appointment....psych eval

 I had the endoscopy last Monday...it turns out that I'm unable to get the sleeve because I have Barrett's esophagus.  Which leaves me with either the band or RNY.   I'm not considering the band...

I was worried about RNY because of rerouting and malabsorption, but the more I read, it doesn't seem so bad.   I have to be careful not to rush into this and need to read more about what is in store for me if I have this done.  I never paid attention to what was involved in this procedure because I didn't want it.  Now I need to check into it more...

I spoke with my Dr. I have been approved for surgery and can be scheduled in a month...

I now start working toward the requirements for surgery...psych eval, nutrition appointments...yikes.

 Yesterday was the endoscopy.   The worst of it was the IV for me.  They always have such a hard time with that or with taking blood.  It was 2 pokes and she got it.  Not bad.

I went in and the next thing I know, I'm waking up.  Pretty quick...25 minutes.

Apparently they removed 2 polyps, and I have a lot of inflammation in my stomach, gastritis.  I will find out results on Thursday....I suspect I will be treated for HPylori, which will be antibiotics for a few weeks to get the inflammation down.


Low I just need to wait til Thursday to find out what is next.

 I have been reading and researching VSG throu these boards.   I am confident that having VSG is the best option for me.  It is a bit scary that I'm considering surgery, but I don't see any alternative. 

I had some issues at the beginning of the summer with my heart racing and needing a very small dose of blood pressure medication.  That is what brought me to seriously consider doing surgery.  I do not want to get any worse than I am now.

I just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, unhappy about my weight and how I look.

I honestly don't think I eat very much at times now.  Don't get me wrong, I can overdo it and make unhealthy choices, but overall, I don't eat constantly or very much most of the time.   I hope if I follow the instructions I can lose.

I can't wait to be approved and on my way to a new me.