What a difference a week makes....

Jun 16, 2011

One week of preop liquifaction down. One to go. I'm still a little surprised that I made it through the first three days, let alone the first week. Apparently I'm stronger than I give myself credit for... Of course the first few days were tough, beyond tough. But I began having good moments more often than bad, at least as far as the hunger and head hunger go. Now its slightly more manageable. I cooked supper for the family last night. It was a cheesy tuna pasta dish. I caved and mixed up some tuna with a tsp of light miracle whip and had that for supper instead of a protein drink. It was by far the yummiest thing ever! Funny how that happens. I think my chocolate addiction is cured. I love chocolate - big time. Hi. My name is Misty and I'm a chocoholic. The last time I had chocolate was Wednesday June 8th. Now, because of all the chocolate shakes, etc, I can't stand to look at chocolate. I have some in the fridge and in a weak moment tried to will myself to eat a little piece. Couldn't do it, not because I shouldn't eat it, because I didn't WANT to! That's different, in a good way.

I am a bit too obsessed with the scale. I step on it at least once per day. First to weigh myself and then to make sure that number is accurate. I know it changes, but if it stays a lb or so around what it was in the morning then I know its real. I just feel like I'm going to wake up and not have lost any weight. I know I need to lock it away - maybe in the trunk of my husband's car. ;)  I'm down a whooping 7 lbs since I started the preop diet, 16 total, I think. I'm okay with that. Anything downward is progress.

The surgeon's nurse called me today to do the preop teaching and I have my preop physical later today. The nurse is wonderful. She allows me to be as neurotic as I need to be. Who wouldn't love that?!

I've started to tell more people about the surgery. I'm not ready to post in on Facebook or anything, but family and a few friends have known. I've told a few coworkers who I consider friends. So far the response has been very supportive. We have one other nurse on the unit that had RNY done about 7 yrs ago and you would never know, and not in the good way. That scares and motivates me at the same time. I've only had one friend/coworker be not-so-supportive. When I told her, she looked at me like I had just kicked a puppy. Like she was somehow disappointed in my choice. I flat out told her that this was a heathy move for me and not one that I considered lightly. She's very organic/crunchy and has been her whole life, so the thought of something surgical and drastic is somehow foreign to her. But one unsupportve person in all this isn't bad. Although I am waiting for my sisters to turn nasty on me once I do start losing weight. I've always been the fat one and they won't like for things to change. But I'll deal with that when/if it happens.

I hope that this next week flies by. I'm scared it won't. Today is my last day at work until after my 2 week recovery. Not planned, its just the way it happened. One of the "perks" of being a nurse. You often work 6-7 days straight and then have off for the same amount of time. My next scheduled day is the 24th, the day after surgery, so I get extra time. I think that I'll spend a lot of time at the zoo with my daughter. She's 2.5 and loves the zoo. It'llbe nice to have some bonding time. I've been kinda distant the past week and I think she feels it. She's put up a fight the last three days that she went to daycare. Its hard because I feel myself withdrawing inward to cope with all the changes. I know I shouldn't but I just keep doing it. I need to set up an appt with a therapist. I know it would do me some good....

Anyway... If anyone managed to read this - props to you. If not, well, that's okay to. It was nice to finally get all of this out of my head. I have a feeling I'll be using this blog feature a little more often.

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