Four years old

Jun 15, 2015

hello All,

 It has been awhile since I visited here so I thought I would update. Things are going OK, I go up in weight and down all the time. It is an intense battle. The desire to eat is so strong it takes over my sanity at times. I crave sweets constantly. I have stopped the drastic continuing weight loss I no longer drop weight with out trying very hard. My lowest weight in my journey has been 143 lbs. I currently weight 152 lbs. 

 I worry I will lose the ability to sustain from the eating desires. They are heavy on my heart,mind and thoughts. I have noticed my planning for fun and outings has reverted back to planning what and where to eat. I no longer think of the park first but I think of the picnic first.

 I took this journey four years ago to be able to help my aging mother. She is 79 in bad health and requires a lot of help. I put in practice the reason I lost the weight last month. She became seriously ill and I was in form to do what needed to be done. I can get her in the wheel chair and wheel her all over the place without breaking a sweet. So for that I am grateful.

 I am scared I am Algernon yet again those dreams haunt me. As in the book Flowers for Algernon. I associate my transformation much like the person in the book. But alas as the plot unfolds my battle is slowly taking on the return to the past as the weight sneaks up on me as ardently as the memory loss sneaks up on the subject of the book. I am not depressed as yet and am fairly a very happy person. I try not to sit on the pitty pot to long. I find it is best to wipe your pitty and get up off that thing.

 I just wanted to say hello and give you an incite in my head and heart so that if even one person can hear me the confession is worth it. Please stay safe, slim and healthy. If you get a chance read the book, it is worth the time. Hugs to all, Bus377 in Texas

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