Calliou
I've been a "big girl" as long as I can remember. Always bigger than my friends at school, always bigger than the other girls on the sports teams (never got to play though), and always the big one every one made fun of...
The guys never wanted to stick around, cause you know... who wants something big like that when they can have a cheerleader barbie?
The girls never wanted to stick around, cause, "Who wants to be friends with a fatty?" or at least that's how I felt.
I have even received letters in the mail with no return address and nothing but advertisements for a weight loss product inside, and people have sent me weight loss products in the mail... embarrassing. People can be vicious and mean and cruel. Thats what it was... embarrassing and hard and painful.
I have tried to be kind and understanding to people, but sometimes its hard when all you hear is about how big you are...
I've even had women hit on my husband asking him what he wants with a big ol thng like me when he could have have something sweet and slim like them? He didnt do it, thank goodness... but this weight has been a burden my entire life.
With each baby, I got even bigger. The weight came on and decided it never wanted to leave. I'm done. It's done. It's got to go.
I have tried every weight loss gimmick on the market at one time or another. I've tried starvation, I've tried Richard Simmons, I've tried Biggest Loser, I've even tried to become bulemic, for petes sake. How sad is that? I couldn't make myself vomit, so I actually went and bought Ipecac syrup at one point to make myself vomit.
The one diet I stuck with the longest and which did work was Weight Watchers. I lost 50 pounds with that. Wonderful program. Felt good, and looked better.
Then my Mom found out she had cancer. I became her caregiver. She lived 3.5 hours away from me, so there was alot of driving involved. And to top it off, she had orasl cancer, so I was certainly NOT eating in front of her while she couldn't even get a half a pancake down. So after Momma would go to bed at night, I would order from the local pizza joint. Bad choices, I know, but in the process, I put on the 50 I had lost, plus another 30.
It's just been a vicious cycle all around.
Now its my turn. I'm taking me back. This is my chance. And this is where it begins.
