cannahsmom
My story:
I am not one who grew up as the chubby kid, or have always struggled with weight. Until I was 23 I have always been fit and active. I was an athlete, in a family of athletes. I went to college with a full scholarship to play basketball. I never had to worry about what I ate, because it would come right off, and I still had a smoking body from all the hard work I was doing. I never developed proper eating habits and that has come back to haunt me.
Everything came screeching to a halt when I had my second child. I had just finished my final season of basketball when I found out I was pregnant. I had been planning to play abroad but the pregnancy changed things. I was happy at that point, because even though I was pregnant I knew eventually I could get back to my dream of playing pro ball. Then my husband informed me that the small, wondeful town we lived in did not have the accessibility to jobs that would support the family and we decided we had to move back to my hometown. I graduated from college.
We moved to Sacramento, not my favorite place, when my second child was two months old. I felt that everything had been suddenly ripped out from under me. I had no friends, I lived in a place I hated, I no longer had my basketball family - I felt abandoned by them-, I had two children under the age of 18 months, I was new stay-at-home mom (never done that before). It was so overwhelming that I began to eat. I ate for every emotion I was feeling. Before the endorphins from basketball practice or a game could take care of my stress. Now I had no way of handling it. I do not like exercise, I like to play sports. Getting on a treadmill was foreign. So I continued to eat all the time. I put on the pounds pretty fast, every few months taking some time to do a weight-loss program like Weight Watchers, Nutri-System, Atikins, etc. I have hired three trainers in the last 4 years. But I was not able to stop binge eating. I finally joined OA, and while I did not lose much weight in that program, it helped me to come to terms with emotional eating and facing my feelings instead of hiding them with food. I no longer binge eat, but I don't know how to portion control or eat like a regular person. I feel like I don't know when I am hungry I only know habit, and a little voice saying "that looks good". I have stopped putting on huge amounts of weight in a rapid manner, but I remain at 140lbs overweight.
I am interested in weight-loss surgery because I want to have my life back. I miss being active more than anything. Basketball was part of life and soul for 20 years. I loved to swim, and hike, ride bikes and surf. I miss being a part of all that. I am desperate and my own attempts at weight loss are not working. I have done a ton of research, and found that this website is the most helpful. I hope to find others who are willing to support my journey, and guide me along the way.
THanks for reading.
Leah
