Carolyn Lacy

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Yep, it looks as if that's the direction my surgeon is going (sighs heavily).  My BMI is still in the 50's and he wants me below that before surgery which means I need to lose an additional 20-30 lbs!  I'm so pissed off for being short!  Okay, stop laughing at me.  I have a weigh-in Oct. 6th and will find out what he wants to do then.  I'm very exasperated but I've waited since April, I guess a little longer won't hurt.  I'm hoping he'll approve my current weight though so I can get on with the process.  I was on a 6 month diet but if I knew that's the target amount they wanted me to lose then i would have tried even harder! I didn't anticipate this glitch so am frustrated.  I finally got my approval letter in from my insurance and sent faxed it to my surgeon's office.  So, now... more dieting and WAITING!! 

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

I got pre-certed for a 3 day hospital stay today!  So now I have to really buckle down on the diet because Dr. P wants my BMI out of the 50's.  I'm worried about that but I'll do my best!  I have to do a weigh-in sometime next week or so and then they'll tell me if I need to lose more before the surgery.  I hope not! 

I called my insurance company and asked about the status and to my surprise, they said I was APPROVED!  I meet all the criteria and they have forwarded my file to the medical director and that they will be mailing a letter out soon.  My patient advocate in Dr. P's office, is getting the precertification for the hospital stay, and then will forward to the person who does the surgery scheduling.  So, hopefully, October sometime!! 

Monday I start my Pre-Op diet.  I don't have any of the right things yet but hope to later this week.  It's mostly just lots of water, high protein, and smaller portions.  I have to do this for 3-4 weeks... ugh! 

My 21 year old son informed me he will be taking his MEP's on Monday and Tuesday and will be going into the Army Reserves.  He's always wanted to be in the military but with the status of things in Iraq, I'm scared to death for him.  His plans are to go reserves and then take 6 months for training and then come back to finish his degree as he wants to be an officer. 

My daughter, Sarah, wants to transfer out of TAMU-K to Stephen F. Austin in the spring.  I'm happy for her since it's what she wanted to do in the first place, but had a few complications.  I can't believe that soon I'll have an empty house with just the cats and I. 

On top of that, my ex's daughter, Kristina, from his first marriage (whom I dearly love and think of as a daughter) had a baby and calls me grandma now... feels weird!  I adore the baby but I don't feel like a grandma at all.  Kris's mother passed away a few years ago so she thinks of me as a mom now more than ever.  I love that... really I do. 

So, lots of existential angst going on in my life right now.... [She says, sighing heavily].

I finally heard from Dr. P and he said, "Victory is near" and that I wouldn't need an additional month on the CPAP before surgery!    So, now I've been waiting impatiently for Dr. P's office to start answering their calls so I can relay the information to her.  I need to know when to start the Cavazos Pre-surgery diet and such.  This will be the longest 3-4 weeks waiting on an answer from the insurance company!    Cross your fingers and toes I get a fast approval!!

Just a quick note so say I finished my last PCP diet appointment and they will submit to Dr. P's office who will then submit to my insurance for approval.  Getting nervous now.

Found out from a friend that Dr. P requires his patients with sleep apnea to be on the cpap machine a month before he does surgery.  I hope that's not the case!  I sent him an e-mail and called his office and left a message but so far no response.  I guess a month delay won't matter in the long run, but I'm so ready to have this done NOW!!  It's out of my hands anyway so I just have to accept whatever happens.

I got an email notice that one of my claims were processed and found out it was the sleep study!  I looked and it read $1700 after I was told by the Sleep Ctr. it was covered 100%!!  I was completely dumbfounded!!  I will call the sleep ctr and my insurance and have a little talk with both.  I doubt anything will come of it, but at least I can blow some steam!  I've had a lot of that lately.