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OK, so today is exactly one week post-op and I am dying to chew on something already!  The 4th will make one month that I've been on liquids (except for my few slip ups during pre-op!).  I'm not hungry just want to chew!  I'm getting shakes down OK, I actually have to remind myself that I have to drink them.  Everything feels different going down that's for sure!  I'm down 25 lbs today so that is very exciting!  I have my post-op on Tuesday with my surgeon and nutritionist so hopefully I will be able to advance to the next phase so that I can chew...

OK, enough already!  I'm ready and I still have to wait until Friday!  Having only clear liquids on Christmas is going to be hard!  I just went and bought my husband's Christmas dinner (filet mignon) because I don't think he should have to suffer too!  I'll probably want to rip his face off while he eats it, but that seems to be how I feel at every meal with him lately, poor guy!  I know this will all get easier as time goes by, but it is so hard still having my stomach and the hunger and the holidays, geez, enough already!  I am so ready!  I have to admit that I've had weak moments and ate some stuff that I shouldn't have during these three weeks...and I feel so GUILTY.  But I'm friggin' hungry!  And the blow of and added week before surgery has really sent me over the edge.  I just keep thinking that next year at this time I will be so happy with my decision that I try to keep that in mind when I'm having a difficult time.  I sat at the table on Sunday with a Slim Fast and broth while everyone else ate chicken and shrimp parm with pasta and meatballs and sausage and I wanted to cry!  It was the hardest thing.  I tried to only keep my eyes on my "food" and not look around the table, but it was hard - really hard.  I do have to say that I probably felt better than any one at that table about 15 minutes after we got up though!  I watched everyone else groan about how full they are.  There is an up side, hmmm...

My surgery was scheduled for today.  Ended up being rescheduled for December 26th because of a stupid fever!  Bummed out...but, everything happens for a reason.  Trying to stay positive.  These past two weeks have been so hard with the shakes and liquids and I was finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel to mushy proteins by the end of the month, but now I'm looking at another 18 days of liquids.  Oh well, I'm down 13.5 lbs as of today so I guess I just have to be positive that I will lose more before surgery!

Ok, so I'm one week into pre-op diet and one week away from surgery.  Although this is happening really fast for me compared to others, it seems like forever at the same time.  I'm unusually calm right now.  Especially because I was having daily meltdowns about a month ago!  I'm very fortunate because I have a great support system.  I'm just ready to get this done.  I feel like I've been waiting to start my life and this is my new beginning.