NERVES SETTING IN

Jan 10, 2013

Well, the nerves are really setting in now. I had to go back for my sleep study follow-up yesterday and ended up on APap. Fun, yeah. (At least my nasal pillow is pink!) So last night wasn't very fun. I think I ended up taking all that crap off somewhere around 1 this morning. I'll have to work on it.

My stomach is swimming with butterflies and all kinds of oddball stuff is floating in my head. I worry, what if I don't make it through surgery? what about my kids? what about my husband?... too much to worry about. Am I truly scared? I think I am to a point. The biggest problem I'm having right now is what if I did something to screw this up?

Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Have I smoked in the past month? Yep. Do I feel bad about it? Yep. But I'm just hoping that doesn't set me back.

Liquid diet... totally sucked. I've snuck a little food here and there. (Zero carb and low sodium, though.)

So... long story short...I'm kicking myself in the butt for a lot of little things. I've got a great support system full of friends who've had bariatric surgery in one form or another and they all tell me this is normal and I'll be okay. I think it's only natural to worry.

Now I need to focus on Tuesday. Tuesday is the big day...my new birthday, my 're-birth' day!

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