cindywebb1667

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I just had my phone consultation with Dr. Husted.  He is writing the letter of medical necessity.

I'm thinking revision to DS surgery.  Investigating now.    Found a doctor in Kentucky who seems very experienced.  I've researched his work and all the comments and feedback about him and it seems like he is liked by all.

My mom and daughter do not support me on this.  My mom who went from a size 7 to a size 28 and can't see to sustain a diet says all I have to do is "put my mind to dieting - I'm a strong    woman"   well if it were that easy why doesn't SHE do it?  My daughter is a nurse and I'm guessing she is just scared for me.  She 'knows' too much about the dangers of medicine gone wrong.

I still believe I need this revision to be successful, so I'm going to pursue it.

Still in pain from thymoma removal.  Shooting pain accross the left breast - feels like bone moves and difficulty laying down.  its been three months!  When will this end? - still gaining weight

Wallace still won't talk revision surgery.  spent 45 minutes telling me I just need to eat less and exercise more !  Duh !

9/10/09  went into hospital for tumor removal.  It turned out to be a thymoma on my thymus gland.  They had to saw my sternum in half to get at it - wired sternum back together and punctured the mammory artery.  Five day hospital stay - very painful.  Horrible surgery long recovery.

Went back to doctor and he did a slight unfill under flouroscope - still won't letm e get a revision.  UUUGGGHHH !!!  Now he says i was too tight all along. 

That day I went to ER because had some trouble breathing (unrelated to band) and some shooting pain in my chest.  A CT scan revealed a TUMOR on my thymus gland.  Oh good grief - what next?

July 20, 2009

Well I tried and I failed.  The band just isn't working for me.  I'm hungry all the time - my stomach growls painfully every 2 hours - I throw up - I'm naseaus - I have reflux - I fight a constant mind hunger - I'm even having a hard time with foods I used to be able to eat.

I went to my surgeon back in February and asked him to unfill me so we could refill slowly again, but he said no - I just wasn't in the right frame of mind.

I really want RNY surgery.  I really don't want this plastic in me anymore.

Two years ago, when I first investigated surgery I was told it could take up to two years to lose all my weight,  I was sooooo disappointed.  Well here it is two years later and I'm nowhere near where I need to be.  I lost 84 pounds in the first 9 months and in the past year, I've gained 26 back.  I lost my control.  My life was out of control and so was my weight. 

Well I'm back and I'm going to make it this time.  I'm tired of being fat - I'm tired of feeling bad - I'm tired of swollen legs and heart burn and discomfort and crummy clothes and being embarassed.  I'm just tired of it all.  I want to be thin. 

I was focused on plastic surgery and when I realized I could not afford it anytime soon I lost my body image motivation.  Or was this just another excuse?

No more excuses.  I either do it or I don't.  I won't accept failure this time.  This past year has been a year of rejection.  Now I want recognition and praise.  I want to feel good about me.  About who I am and what I'm capable of.  I refuse to let my body image be 'message'  I send everytime someone sees me.  I want the good inside person to be reflected in a nice outside.  I don't want to be perfect.  I just want to be normal.....whatever that is.

When I started my weight loss journey and someone said it could take up to 2-years to loose all my weight - I though to myself "How will I ever wait that long?"....Well it has been 8 months and I honestly can't believe it has just flown by!  

I've lost 80 pounds so far!  Yeah for me!  But my old eating habits have come back.  Let me explain.

I had a third fill and thought I was at the "perfect" place when I started to loosen up just a little.  Went back to my Doctor and convinced him I needed just a little more.   Well the just a little more felt like too much fill (and kinda still does).  I was getting stuck at every meal, throwing up several times a week and I was forced into eating tiny, tiny bites very slowly.

I went back to my doc and asked for an unfill.  He thinks that my band is working the way it should be.  It should force me to take pea sized bites, eat slow, don't drink etc. etc.

Well I still have a hard time with those rules so invariably I get stuck pretty often and I throw up pretty often. I can "feel" food "squeezing "through the stoma and feel immense pain.   Also, I'm hooked on soda pop again.  I know-I know - it is just that I'm so thirsty all the time.  :(

Now that it is hard to eat things, I've been eating all the wrong things and my weight has come to a standstill as has my exercise.  I did water aerobics back in September 07 and I started again in March 08.

I just need to be better at everything.  Holidays were hard too.  Plus I lost my job at MMI at the end of December 07 and then got another job at MTL in February 08 so there is a bit of stress thrown in.  

I will be better - I will lose weight - I will succeed.

HALLELUJAH !

I had my second fill Monday 9/17 and I was afraid to write about it for fear I'd jinx myself.

On my first fill I felt restricted until the end of the 2nd day - then I felt as if I hadn't even had a fill (was I dreaming!)

My second fill this past Monday I felt restricted.  I figured the swelling would go down and I'd be back to no restriction.

But.....here is is Friday and so far so good.

Tuesday after the fill, I decided to "push the envelope" and I ate 2 saltine crackers (suppose to be on soft foods) - the second cracker got STUCK !  YEAH !  I'm STUCK - I'm STUCK - I was so happy ! (in between the pain sensations).  I really do have a band and it really will get filled and help me.  No amount of reassurance made me believe - till I got stuck.  I remembered all I learned from my health care team, Obesity Help and Sandyr.   I panicked at first - felt happy something was happening.  I calmed down (didn't drink which was my first impulse) and just tried to relax.  It felt like something was stuck and it felt like my esophagus all the way to my stomach was backed up.  About an hour later I felt normal but my chest was a little sore.   I mostly did liquids the rest of the day to let my Stoma rest.   I love you Stoma and yes you too Band.

So Wednesday I decided to "push the envelope" again and I ate a too large piece of chicken.  It too got stuck (but only a little)  - it passed in a couple minutes.  Did liquids the rest of the day.

Thursday I figured I'd pushed too far so I was very gentle with my stomach.  I ate very slowly and carefully.  A couple times I took another bite too soon (this is all very new to me) and it feels like everything tightens up and backs up - it actually feels like a stuck burp.

I never slimed (although when I got stuck with the piece of chicken I started salivating for a few seconds) or PB'd.  I'm satisfied and comfortably  full at about 1/4 - 1/2  cup vegetables and 3-4 oz chicken.  I do have to be careful cause I can 'feel' some things going down and it is a 'reminder' to slow down, chew better and take smaller bites.

I can still gulp liquids and drink fast and eat SF fudgicles and popsicles.  Is this normal?

I hope this doesn't go away.  I finally feel like I'm Banded.   Oh yeah since my 2nd fill I lost 3 pounds!

I'm doing the happy dance.  

Went to Dr. Wallace after work on Monday - Sept 17, 2007 for my second fill.  

I was not very nervous cause I knew what to expect.  He numbed the site, I put my head up and he filled.   Nothing to it.

I asked him if he draws out what is in there to see and he said yes.  At one point during the fill he was bent down close to my tummy and had a perplexed look on his face.  We were all very quiet.  I got a little nervous but then he stood up and said o.k. your done.

He said he put in 7cc's in 14cc band.  He said that the amount doesn't really mean much since when the band is filed to 14 cc's it means there is no opening at all - he actually said if the band were filled to 14 cc's I couldn't swallow my own spit !

I can't wait to see if it 'takes"