Clarissa C.
Check me out on Myspace! www.myspace.com/clarissa323 March 2005 - I had my consult with the surgeon's office this month. I was told the risks and possible complications involved with this surgery. I have made up my mind that death is a better option than living like I am now. I will begin pre-op appointments next month and plan to attend support groups until it is time for surgery. I am 21 and my current weight is 346. April 2005 - My psychological exam went well. I guess I'm not too crazy to have surgery. :) I was told that I will experience depression afterwards. A small price to pay to change my life, right? May 2005 - I have completed the pulmonary, cadiology, endoscopy, and abdominal ultrasound appointments. My lungs, heart, and stomach, are in great shape and are cleared for surgery. There was a "lesion" on my stomach that was checked and turned out to be nothing. However, during the ultrasound of my abdominal cavity, there were "lesions" on my liver. Everything else checked out fine. Now I have to wait and see what the deal is with my liver... this sucks! Why do they keep finding weird stuff on me?! I'm actually enjoying learning about my body though. June 2005 - I have had an MRI and CAT scan of my liver and the doctors still don't know what it is. My next step is a needle biopsy. Not looking forward to this one... It's so scary not knowing what's going on inside my body and if it's serious. July 2005 - Beleive me, I'm not scared of needles, but the biopsy sucked. I had to be fully awake and not numbed at all (lidocane allergy). The needle went into my upper right side three times. The sound was terrible and the pain in my left shoulder was even worse. I stayed in the hospital for 4 hours to be monitored, then came home.... After about a week the results were back. The four masses are begnin tumors. A rare liver disease called "Focal Nodular Hyperplaisa" (FNH), and is supposedly brought on and worsened by hormones, so I will never be able to take hormones again. This disease hasn't been reported to turn to cancer, so that's definately a plus for me! My surgery date is August 25th! I'm soooo excited and scared!! I've started the pre-op diet. Low carb/high protein. It's not too bad! August 2005 - I spent the night of the 24th wide awake and went into the hospital at 5:30 a.m. I was so scared, but kept remembering what I have said all along. Death would be a better option than living life like I was. My surgery went great, and recovery wasn't nearly as painful as I thought. I had fun with the morphine, too. Overall, the two day hospital stay went very well and I was very pleased with the care I recieved at PCMH. I am still on a liquid diet for the next week and a half. Boring... September 2005 - Shrink was right! This is depressing! I keep thinking "What have I done to myself?" I am sure it will get better, atleast that's what everyone keeps telling me. Thank God for the message boards right. At lease I know I'm not alone with this. I am on the pureed phase of the diet and go to soft solids in a week. I've never been so excited about chicken salad and gound turkey before. LOL October 2005 - Things are getting better. I went to Myrtle Beach for a few days, while I still have time off from work. I'm still a little sore on the upper left incision, which I know is normal. I am on soft solids now. Like I said... never been so excited about chicken salad and ground turkey. I have lost 64 pounds... so amazing. I love this! November 2005 - I'm back on solid foods now and the depression is much better, but I still have my days. I'm in this trial and error stage of eating, which is making me scared to eat anything, because I don't want to be sick. I'm also enjoying the gym... most of the time. I've also had my first post-op alcohol encounter, and wow... what a difference! Now I'm cheap. LOL My three month post-op appointment went great. I'm doing very well. I've lost 88 pounds! December 2005 - I can't believe this. I have lost exactly 100 pounds!!! I don't know how to describe to anyone what it feels like! It's so so so wonderful! My hair is thinning though. Good thing I have thick hair, I guess. At least I have it for now. I refuse to get it cut though. All foods have gone down well as long as I eat them slowly and chew well enough. Things are looking great. January 2006 - The weight loss is slowing, but it's coming off. This is kind of depressing because I've been losing it so quickly! I do know this is a normal phase and it will pick up soon... I hope! I went to the ER for severe abdominal pain, after drinking about 1/4 of a mixed drink. I was told by the ER doctor (a quack) that it was acid reflux. I've had acid reflux for a long time and I have never felt anything like this before. It was a very central, intense, burning pain that went from just below my ribs all the way down to below my navel area. I called the surgeon and they say it sounds like an ulcer... February 2006 - The weight is still coming off, just not as quickly and no problems from the ulcers. I was given Prevacid and they seem to be working well for me. I'm still working out, getting in all my protein, and taking my vitamins religiously. My hair is still coming out in huge clumps! March 2006 - Okay... my hair is really coming out. I'm now taking Biotin and using Nioxin products and they don't seem to be helping. The weight loss and slowed down which is definitely depressing, but at least I can tell that the inches are coming off. Down 117 pounds now. April 2006 - Still losing hair and no weight. What's the deal here? Inches are still coming off, but I want to see number go down! UGH! I hate this! May 2006 - Okay, so I was having this weird feeling in my chest, in my heart area to be exact. I would feel like my heart is skipping a beat. Being the anxious person I am, it finally freaked me out one night after 3 weeks of this happening. I went to the ER, (where I saw the same quack that said I have acid reflux) and now I have a heart murmur. My blood pressure was very high. I had stopped my BP meds about two weeks prior, for about four days (under doctor's supervision) and it went up, so I went back on the meds. I was giving drugs and sent on my merry way. I have an appointment for an endoscopy to get the ulcers looked at next month. June 2006 - I didn't have the endoscopy done after all. I guess I will reschedule. I'm still having some hair loss, but it's not as bad. July 2006 - The hair loss has finally decided to subside. I have my one year post-op appointment next month! I can't believe it's been almost a whole year! August 2006 - It's been one year and I've lost about 150 pounds. The scale likes to trip out sometimes, you know! I can't believe it has been a whole year now! My post-op appointment went well. I'm so much happier with myself and others. I never realized how unhappy I was until I became happy with myself. My updates will probably be every 3-6 months now. I thank God for all the support and care I have recieved, particularly from the message boards. You are a wonderful group of people! February 2007 - I have no lost a total of 161 pounds! I'm so happy, but I'd like to lose 30 - 40 more. I've recently given up alcohol and I had gotten very slack on my diet, but now I am back on track and ready to be a loser again. :) I will definately keep you updated on my progress. It's been 18 months, and it get harder, believe me, but it's so worth it in the end. I'm just not willing to let myself go back to my old lifestyle. I love life to much to let it go now.
