crystaldawn307
How Obesity has controlled my life
Apr 13, 2009
Obesity has controlled my life from around age 9-till now at age 27.Obesity is something people who are overweight have to deal with everyday of their lives. Eventually it took over my mind, body, and soul. Instead of living life to the fullest and enjoying my life as a mother and wife, I starting thinking about how unhappy and miserable I felt every morning when I woke up, until my tired aching body laid down at night.
Age 9- I remember at recess being chased at school by kids calling me "piggy, piggy"
Age 10- I think I recall going shopping with mom for an outfit for school pictures. I remember at age 10 my mom having to get my clothes in the teen sizes instead of girls.
Age 11- I remember going shopping for a swim suit to wear to a girls b-day party at the city pool. I didn't end up going because I felt miserable about how I would look in a suit infront of everyone.
Age 12- Still overweight and filling more and more like the ugly duckling
Age 13- I remember eating so much just because it made me feel so good compared to the feeling I got out in public or at school. I became a closet eater. I'd get home from school and pig out on junk. Then turn around and eat a huge dinner. Only because it made me feel so happy and good to eat.
Age 14- Still eating way too much, tried joining the girls basketball team in junior high but dropped out after 2 days of practice. I couldn't handle all the running we did in practice. I remember the sharp shooting pains in my ribcage from being so out of shape and overweight.
Age 15- All my friends are starting to have boyfriends and going out on the weekends with them. I'm the one in the group that is just the funny girl who doesn't even get the first look, second look, or even noticed by the boys.
Age 16- In high school I remember weighing around 170 and feeling embarrased because I usually had to stuff myself into the little desk to sit in every one of my classes all day long. Sitting so cramped, and noticing that I usually was the only one who had no room to breath. Still feeling unattractive and feeling like the fat girl of the group. Which I was, all my friends were all smaller then me. All of them had boyfriends, except me of course.
Age 17- Started hanging out with the wrong group of friends because of how insecure I was. Still felt like the ugly fat duckling. Started letting people use me and take advantage of me because it was the only kind of attention I was getting from people at school.
Age 18- Finally got a boyfriend but he used me for one thing only and stood me up on my senior prom.
Age 19- Moved out of my parents house lost some weight due to the fact that I was living on my own and it was a matter of buying groceries or having money to party with. I thought the beer money was way better then buying groceries. I did lose about 30 to 40 lbs.
Age 20- Still overweight, letting people take advantage of me more than ever. I actually have boyfriends now but they were the cheating, drinking, asshole kind of men. I couldn't find a nice guy because I didn't love myself enough to put standards on who was worth my time.
Age 21- Still overweight and also pregnant by one of those bad kind of men. I was in a very bad unhealty realationship. I made the decision to move back home and leave the father of my baby.
Age 22- A single mom, still overweight. I had no energy to get motivated to try and lose weight. I also felt worthless and very insecure. Who would want a fat overweight single mom?
Age 23- Still overweight, still tired and unmotivated to try and help myself to get healthy
Age 24-Still overweight. I did meet my now husband and we starting going out. I was lucky because he was a good guy who treated me and my daughter very good. He also didn't care about my weight.
Age 25- Happy but still overweight....... Gained even more weight because now I was happy and had a man to take me out to dinner all the time. I didn't care what I ate because I was accepted as I was by my hubby. So why should I care.
Age 26-Started noticing just how BIG I had allowed myself to get. I also felt how the obesity was taking a toll on my body. I realized that I was almost the weight I was when I was 9 months pregnant. How did I let this happen to myself? I felt the weight more than ever after working my 12 hour shifts at the hospital. I felt it in my knees, my feet, everywhere aching constantly. It starting bringing out all my insecurities in my marriage. I was the crazy wife who accused my husband of cheating on me because I was so fat and unattractive.
Age 27 PRESENT- My daughter started kindergarden this year. The kids in her class tell her that her mommy is fat. My daughter has even noticed that Im one of the bigger sized mommy's going to the school to pick up.
My health at 27- I suffer from depression and anxiety. I get bad edema in my feet and legs after working my shift at the hospital. I get short of breath and hot all the time. My body aches everywhere all day long. My hubby and I can't have any children together right now because my weight has caused me to have difficulty conceiving. I also have minor asthma, urinary stress incontinence. My moods are so crazy cuz I'm such a miserable person. I'm mad at myself. How did I let this obesity rule my life for so long? How come I let it get this far out of control. It has taken my body, my mind, and my soul.
The Future- I will have my gastric bypass surgery on April 27th, 2009. I will use this tool to get my life once and for all under control. I know that weight loss surgery itself isn't the cure to obesity. It is a tool to give me the start I need. I will get my life in control. My health is my number one priority. I want to be healthy for my family. I would like to be able to give my husband his first born son/ daughter in a couple of years. I know I need to get healthy before I can do this. I look forward to the future, I know I will get my body, mind, and soul back. Obesity will not take these from me again, EVER!!!!. I will not give in.
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About Me
WY
Location
29.1
BMI
Surgery
04/27/2009
Surgery Date
Apr 12, 2009
Member Since
