Have Surgery Date

Jun 08, 2012

I received my letter for approval of surgery. Then later that day I spoke with my surgeon's office and bariatric nurse to set a date. Looks like 7/12 barring any obstacles.
Just setting the date triggered anxiety and panic in me. Did not sleep well for 2 nights. I had a panic attack but did not take my usual med for it. Just let myself feel the discomfort. Probably not the best thing to do. When I got up yesterday morning, I was ready to call and cancel the surgery. I went to work all tired and dragging my butt. I have been driving my husband nuts talking about surgery, obsessing over it, reading web posts, books, blogs.My kitchen is stuffed with protein powders,extracts and vitamin supplements.  I have been doing all the"right" things, staying on my diet, not drinking before and after meals, eating slowly, chewing forever, reducing caffiene. I have lost more pre-op weight than I was asked. So I wonder why all the angst? My surgeon thinks I am the ideal candidate! I told him I am a terrible patient and that I am terrified. I am not sure he is really hearing me as I am sure he has heard that hundreds of times. I have told my sisters,my boss, one co-worker and one close friend about the surgery. Today I may be telling my parents. I am not sure how they will handle the news. Lots of history there and some of it touches on the roots of my true problems with food/weight/body image. Subject of future discussion... gotta go pack now.

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