dragonfly80

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After spending almost a week in the hospital and bleeding large amounts from my JP site into my abdomin and soft tissues not to mention all over my bathroom floor, I am still in a good amount of pain! I am almost three weeks out and I still need my pain meds, Tomorrow I have to go back to my surgeon to make sure everything is still ok! I'm worried becuase he has kind of a short temper that he is not really going to listen to me. I didn't want to my husbandand my insurance lady Donna are making me go ! 
THe great part is that after all this suffering after 2 1/2 weeks I HAVE LOST 30 lbs!!!!!! At my post op appt. I was 296lb (up 10 lbs due to swelling and liquids) And 9 days later I am down to 265lb! Freakin amazing!!!! 
Well I will write a more detailed experience when I can sit at the computer longer! After about 15 minutes I am in way to much pain! Congratulations to my dear friend Kelly who is getting ready to go home today! May she recover much quicker then I did! 

Two more days.....that's it...two more days!!!! Couldn't wait till it was time to get started on my new beginning! So why in the hell am I so freaking scared sh!tless right  now!!! I have everything ready, everything is organized and now I have nothing to do and I am spending my time worrying!!! Tomorrow I have my daughter's paraolympics  meet and then when I get home I have to start my bowel prep! Not like you want to be running around after you drink that stuff ... so it will be even worse then today. Cause I will be miserable. On the pot all day and starving to death....that's right ....that's what its going to feel like while I drink nothing but clear liquids for two days straight! I am really hoping I'm not an emotional basket case by the time I get to the hospital. Probably wont sleep well....starving.....scared shitless= Emotional wreck!!!! 

I showed my husband as sad as it sounds how to make sugar-free Jello last night so that he can make some before I come home.....maybe I will show my daughter just in case!
Sunday I will be spending all day cooking for my family so they have healthy frozen dinners for the next two weeks. Going to make some pastas, some chicken dinners, pork chops and some split pea and they mentioned they would like  a ham. That's something they can cut off of while I am in the hospital  and make sandwiches and stuff. OMG I have to shut up now!!!!

3:  Great Friends to encourage me!!
2:   Loving Family to help take care of me!!!
1:   Lots of pain meds to numb me!!!!!!!

4: Getting my legs waxed
3: wearing a SWIMSUIT to the beach
2: not skydiving or bungee jumping with the hubby
1: bangs or red hair

5: Pigging out
4: Drinking a ice cold beer on a hot summer day
3: Being ignored by perverts
2: My hair
1: Tight skin

6:   My Health
5:   My Mobility
4:   My Future
3:   My Happiness
2:   My Marriage
1:   My Children

7:   Move somewhere new and exciting
6:   Go back to school
5:   Take care of myself finacially
4:   Make new friends
3:   remove broken/hurtful relationships
2:   Enjoy the life I make
1:   MOVE FORWARD

8: Disney (CA or FL)
7: Alaska
6: Bannf Springs (Canada)
7: Scottland
6: Rome
5: Africa
4: Montana
3: Russia
2: Colorado
1: Paris

9:   Their support

8:    Their inability to  see me as fat

7:    Their unconditional love for me

6:    Their patience for my mood swings and anxiety

5:    Their encouragement  for my new path

4:    Their excitement and joy that fills my heart every day

3:    Their understanding natures

2:    Their ability to not eat candy in front of me

1:    Their beautiful smiles

10:  Go shopping for new clothes

9:    Buy new shoes

8:    Get a part time job

7:    Not worry I'm gonna be the only fat one there

6:    Take my kids to Disneyland

5:     Be happy with me

4:     Go out with my friends again 

3:     Buy nice underware not comfortable underware

2:     Stop taking all the pills 

1:     Love and be happy again