Ts W.

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So surgery went well. 

On the day of surgery, I had a letter that said surgery was at 11..be there at 10.  At about 9:18am I got a call asking where I was.  Somehow they expected me earlier.  Luckily I live like ten minutes from there so I boogie'd on down.  And was whisked into preop everything.  Stripped down, anestesiologist..did I spell that right.  Last thing I remember is them telling me to take deep breaths and the next thening was my husband talking to me as I woke up from the haze of it all. 

I remember the whole we need to start walkig but at that moment, all i could do is try to control what felt like a bobble head and the need to just close my eyes.  The immediately start your regimin of water and liquids.  The chicken broth almost made me vomit...if there was vomit to vomit.  Not to mention I don't eat meat.

Like any hospital stay, there is always someone coming in poking and prodding...and so thats how that night went.  The first thing I requested was to have the catheter removed.  I lived iwth one for six weeks post baby three and did not want to relive that.

But that next day...began my personal effort to recovery.  I really wanted to lay down, but actually it wasn''t comfortable either.  So when ever I woke up, I'd go potty, then for a walk around the floor.  Its like that post c section effort.  You know you have to do it, and it helps.  so you do it.  At the end of my walks I would feel a bit of nausea, and with no problems would get me some drugs!!.  I kept me a little morphine drip going and felt no guilt with triggering that little guy!!

When I got home it was ok.  I had liquid vike.  Glory!!  What was nice is stepping down from it.  Its like after a dose sleep is next. 

I had a set back on day 11.

It was scary.

I had on a waist girdle type thingy.  It wasn't tight...it was more like support.  I went outside to do something and it just felt good to have myself 'held' together.  Anyway, I was sitting on the edge of the bed and started feeling weird.  The day before and earlier I felt this acute pain that seem to trace the path of the tubing for my drainage tube on the inside.  I was assured that that pain is just part of the healing.  Well as I was sitting there it seemed like my entire stomach felt that acute pain.  I was dizzy.  Actually, I wasn''t sure if I was dizzy as I've never felt dizzy.  So I managed to get my support off, and my dress.  I laid back and that made it worse.  I went in the bathroom and just sat on the toilet just to sit.  Its always cooler in the bathroom.  The next thing I know my head was spinning and I just called out for help.  Then there was the hot seering pain.  And then there was sweating.  A lot of it.  Everywhere.  Needless to say 911 was called.  All i could say was something wasn't right, and I need help.

The pain.  All I could do was grip my stomach.  I tried to walk to my car but couldn't take steps.  I managed to get some water and ice.  That made it feel better. 

The Funny Part.  While there, after blood and urine and the pain of moving from the ambulance bed to the er bed and all of that.
I got a dose of something..diloted or something.  I mean, by the time it was in the iv I was like whOOOoooo the pain was gone, my head was spinning.  What a wonderful drug!

All the test say nothing wrong...I think I was dehydrated....It wasn't dumping...I hadn't taken pain meds...maybe that was it....

Today...Much better.  walking...pootin...and starting my soft foods. 

Down 25lbs and looking forward to go times ahead!!

In a few days I'll have surgery.

I'm on the liquid diet. 

The mental change of eating habits took hold about three weeks ago.

The liquid diet forces you to look at everything so differently.  Such as it is.  The relationship as I once new it is over forever.

I'm not sure i I feel bad or not.  I just know that it is.

I have for many years struggled with weight.  The thing is that it didn't really become a struggle until the last few years.  I was never the skinny kid, but always had a mental notion of fabulous.  I always knew there were things I couldn't wear, but always found a way to look good and stand out.  I'm just coming to terms and honesty..and awareness that I've always accomodated the pain, discomfort and frustrations of being overweight. 

My personal life has been interesting.  Its funny because some people just love you because you have this weight.  They seem to automatically gravitate to you because all of your overweightness clearly reeks of motherly comfort.  lol.   My Husband of 15 years adores me, but I know...I just know he wants to me smaller.  He hates hearing me gripe and moan about pain.  I know he also just wants to see me as fancy as him...lol.  On an ego tip, If one more person says to me...'thats your husband'...lol.  Anywho...

I was recently approved for my surgery. 

March 5th.

I have appreciated reading some stories on OH and hope that perhaps my notes in the coming months will help someone else through.

I still need to tell my mother.  I anticipate her being my headache, shes of the camp ' if God wanted us all to Be small...).  Well...'if God wanted us all to be Chub he wouldn't have made surgeons'.  :)  Mother, Her Mother and many others in family are size 22's and some so...I'm getting out while I can!!

Friends are on both sides of the fence.  Some of my chub friends are no no...while others supportive.  Those who echo don't do it, I realize make decisions forthemselves, and this is a decision that has been thought about for a long time...and is for me.

I am ok with anyone not liking it.  I have accepted the risks.  I have faith in my surgeon and the God that this is what needs to happen.  I want to live longer.  I want to play with my two year old and roller skate with my 11 and 15 year old.
I want fewer prescription pain pills. 

Anyway...I'll update later.