flsunshine
a "thin" me -to-be
Jun 26, 2010
Truthfully I have never been thin. I'm not sure how it will feel. It seems like since I've gotten a surgery date, I'm thinking more about how obesity has affected my life, from being teased as a child, rejected and ridiculed by kids and high school, and prevented me from doing things I would like to do in my adulthood.
Today I went to the mall with my husband. We went in to GNC to get some supplements, and I was so self-conscious I snapped at the man working there. I felt like he was judging me for being heavy and in the "health store". Later trying to explain what "happened" was really hard. I found myself telling him about all the times I've been judged and ridiculed-- especially in the mall, and just burst into tears.
Last week we sent our exchange student home to Germany. As we put his bags on the counter, I realized that those two (really heavy) suitcases weighed LESS together than the amount of extra weight I am carrying around. Then it hit me. NO WONDER I am so tired, and shy away from any kind of physical activity. I could not carry those bags around for a half an hour, but I'm carrying more than that around with me ALL THE TIME, even when I'm sitting or sleeping.
I suppose these things are normal thoughts as one prepares for weight loss surgery. I'm trying to visualize myself thin, but its hard. I look forward to times when I have energy to walk around the mall, and I don't worry about being made fun of just for how I look. I can't wait to sit down at a booth in a restaurant and not worry if I will be able to breathe. Mostly, I am so excited to be healthy.
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About Me
Clearwater, FL
Location
31.1
BMI
Surgery
07/22/2010
Surgery Date
May 01, 2010
Member Since
