uhgghhhh

Jun 16, 2009

Ok IT HAS BEEN TWO MONTHS AND 16 DAYS SINCE MY SURGERY.......IM FEELING BETTER PHYSICALLY, BUT I HAVE DEFINATELY COUGHT MY BAD HABITS! LIKE THE OTHER DAY I WANTED TO EAT SOMETHING SALTY BUT NOT BC I WAS HUNGRY BUT BC I WAS CRAVING IT,.........I KNOW ITS BAD! IM FEELING LIKE IM LOOSING TRACK AND IM AFRAID THAT MY STOMACH MIGHT GET BIGGER DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE ANYWAYS THATS WHY IM BLOGGING BC IT REALLY SHOULDNT...LOL SO IVE BEEN EATING LITTLE PORTIONS OF BAD STUFF HERE AND THERE,....DOES ANYONE UNERSTAND ME ? DID THIS HAPPEN TO ANYONE AFTER SURGERY? AHHHHHH WHAT THE HECK! IM A BIT FRUSTRATED AND GOING TRHOUGH A ROLLER COASTER WITH MY OWN PERSONAL ISSUES. TODAY I WENT TO BUY MY PROTEIN SHAKE AND HOPEFULLY GET BACK ON TRACK. EXERCISING IS ANOTHER THING I NEED TO START DOING NOW THAT IVE LOST SOME WEIGHT.....IM AT 250 I STARTED OUT AT 317 SO IM JUST A BIT EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT. IM GOING TO BE HONEST IM JUST A BIT AFRAID OF EVER BEING THAT WEIGHT AGAIN. I NEED TO RE FOCUS. JUST THIS PAST WEEK I FOUND OUT THAT MY MOTHER HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER IN HER LIVER....I MEAN IF ITS NOT ONE THING ITS ANOTHER SO I REALLY NEED YOU ALL RIGHT NOW TO HELP ME IN WHATEVER YOU CAN AND PRAYERS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST. ILL KEEP YOU ALL POSTED ABOUT IT LATER ITS NOT SOMETHING THAT IVE SINKED IN ME YET IM HAVING A HARD TIME WITH IT. IM HOPING TO MAKE IT TO MY NEXT GROUP MEETING. PLEASE KEEP ME AND MY FAM IN PRAYERS. THANKS

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