What to do , what to say to make it through another day

Aug 20, 2010

Life is a constant stuggle. And if your not stuggling in one aspect of your life or another you better take another look, sit down and have a Xanex while your at it. I don't mean to be negative but I am a pessimist or a realist depending on who the conversation is with. My cup is half empty and I am okay with having another taste.

I stuggle, I contemplate, I create in my life. I can destroy as well. I have worked on my self destruction for years without much care. Do I care when I cant fit into anything that I like, yes. Do I care when I am cramming junk down my throat, no. It's euphoric, it's my drug. I am an addict.

My additction to food has changed so many aspects of my life and many I do not know as I have not experienced them due to my lack of will power. That next fix, that feeling even thinking about some naughty food is uplifting. I stuggle to even not think about food at times. You had me at mashed potatoes.

During this journey (don't stop believing) I hope in the very least to become happy with who I am. An ultimatley , with or without weight loss that is something I will have to uncover on my own. No one can fill my half empty cup but me. I just hope the pitcher does not spring a leak.

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