Figuring it all out...

Nov 15, 2009

10 months out...120 pounds down...10 pounds until first goal...20 pounds until dream goal...but why...
 Why do I not know who I am?
     I honestly thought that being at a normal weight would make me happy, but man was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, I am SO SO SO SO SO thankful to have had my sugery and be healthy, but that's the only thing I can really be happy about. I used to get by being happy with eating and people not paying attention to me. At first, all the attention was amazing...especially the attention from the opposit sex, but now I am learning what it is like to be the "skinny" girl. Most people don't care about what is inside of you anymore...they only care about what is under your clothes. I have also realized how biased this world is against larger people. I have had sooo many opportuniites arise since I have lost my weight. It was so hard to recognize at first, but now I see it.

One thing about this journey...I am finally telling select people that I have had surgery. Surprisingly most of them have been supportive about it and help me make better choices. It is great not to have to carry around my secret all the time.

I am close to my goal, but I need to get serious about everything again.

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